Unfresh.

I've moved!

2008-01-16T23:03:00.000-08:00

Hey guys, after three years on blogger, I've decided to move to Wordpress. The archives will still be stored on blogger. With a new host, I've taken a new name and theme. Hope you guys like it!

http://lemonseeds.wordpress.com/

Blessings!

What Would You Do?

2007-12-08T22:25:00.000-08:00

What would you do if you were in a parking lot and got hit in the head by a sausage?

One of my friends was hit in the head by a kamikaze sausage at Richland Mall the other day.

What would you do? I think I would throw it like a boomerang and knock out all of my assailants one by one. Or eat it, if it was delicious.

What would you do?

You betta go, girl!

2007-12-08T22:14:00.000-08:00

A couple of weeks ago I brought my white, messianic Jewish friend Camren along with me and some others to see Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married" (awesome, by the way). During the movie, I became increasingly aware of some of the differences in watching a movie with predominately white audiences and black audiences.

During the movie, there were hoots and hollers all the way through out. During one particularly pivotal scene (I won't ruin it, but "I got it from WALTER!") when there is a lot of exposition, about half of the people in the audience stood up and hollered. There was applause, fingers waving in the air, and "tell it like it t-i-s!"'s abounding.

There was plenty of spicy yelling during the movie, which really warranted it. Which makes me think about the differences in surrounding when black people move in between a black and white world. It always struck me as funny when I get in a group of friends that are all black, and the way we refer to white people; we are never "honky" this, and "cracker" that, but there are just little things that we know that the outside world doesn't. It's like being in an exclusive club.

When I'm in predominately white crowds in the movie theatre I usually restrain myself from yelling at the screen. People who watch movies with me know this, as I feel that watching a movie is a community experience. Its always more fun when you are watching Halloween and homegirl falls to the ground and you scream "Will you pick your dumb behind up!?!?! So stupid, she just had to fall right there. Wrong, honey, just wrong."

Awesome page where I got the scrap of paper in the upper corner.

Next time I will slam it in your face.

2007-12-07T16:46:00.000-08:00

If you are a man, you are probably aware of the many things that we are forced to do that women expect we should. Even though most of this post is in jest, I am still kind of upset about a few things. Like today, for instance, or any other day of my life on a college campus that is 63% women.

The exit to Penland Dining Hall that faces the parking lot and Russel has like 18 doors. OK, its more like 2. However, this can be a problem, because there are always girls walking behind me and I pause to hold the door open for them.

Without fail, I can say that I hold open doors for people behind me, but for ladies in general. I don't mind most of the time, but there are some times when women and door-holding-open just burns me up.

A. When they are a few paces behind yours and they take like a year to catch up with you. That sucks, because a lot of the time I'm in a hurry and need to get to class, but I am holding the door open for YOU. I don't expect a lot, but I need you to put some pep in your step, ma.

B. When you swish right past me without nary a thanks or sideways glance. Truthfully, I don't hold open doors because I want people to say thanks. But you know, it would be nice. And the next time you get with some of your girls to talk about how much men suck and are dogs, you can say, "Wait! I know guys who hold doors open for me all the time. But I never say thanks. Does that make me a "B"? The answer is yes. Yes it does.

C. I don't think I have ever had a woman hold a door open for me. Ever. A lot of times it just slams in my face. Seriously. Women, you need to re-evaluate! This whole business upsets me. It is horrible to just bang a door in someones face, as so many females feel the need to. Hmmph.

While we are on female inconsideration, lets talk about this whole leave the toilet seat down thing. It stands to reason that (1) you don't want pee all over the seat, so why not say, "Thanks for leavin' the seat up! I really appreciate that you didn't want to splatter urine all over my floral wallpaper! Believe it or not, sometimes it is hard to aim.

And (2), wouldn't it be just as easy for you to put the seat up? You're asking me to put it down, why not put it up? Yeah, it makes sense know that you think about it, huh.

This site details ways in which you can make your man put the seat down. Unsurprisingly, here is step seven:

Be relentless in your efforts - training can take time. Don't be afraid to try whatever you think might work: pouting, anger, threats, badgering or even silence. Avoid taking your mind off the goal.

My favorite response is this one:

Just relax!!! - I agree with Jared here. Don't get all emotional over something as menial as a toilet seat. You give your husbands enough problems as it is; at least give them a break on this one.

And this one:

Compromise - When my husband and I were newly married, we compromised. If he would lift the seat to do his thing, I would lower it to do mine. It's one less thing to fight about.

Makes sense to me.

Ways not to convince people that you are not racist.

2007-12-02T15:30:00.000-08:00

Invariably during your life as a person of non-color, someone will either call you a racist or imply that you have racists and/or prejudices. The thing to do is to acknowledge that you, like everyone else have prejudices, and that sometime these prejudices manifest themselves in the way you talk, or your "jokes" that you think are very funny, but are harmful to others. Here are some ways not to look like a jack - a in these situations.

1. No one cares that you went to a school full of 85% black, Mexican or Asian people.

Just because you went to school with a lot of people of color doesn't mean that you may make jokes or comments at the expense of that group, and then follow it up with, "But I went to a school that was 90% black, so... I was the minority!" Newsflash: as a white person, you are not, and have never been "the minority." While there may have been more of them than you, you still have an advantage in that all of your life, you have had white privilege. Don't know what that is? Read "White Privilege" by Peggy McIntosh ( a white woman ).

I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life. I have chosen those conditions that I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographic location, though of course all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can tell, my African American coworkers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place and time of work cannot count on most of these conditions.

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.

3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.

4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

Follow the link for more.

2. There's no way I can be racist! My best friend/person I know/guy who mows my lawn is black!

There is nothing worse than someone who tries to justify something by using a person who they obviously only see as a token to prove a point, while simultaneously showing the world that that their friend is just that to them, their black/Hispanic/Asian friend.

3. Why do you guys have to be so racial? Why does everything have to be about race? IT WAS JUST A JOKE!

As a person of color, everyday of my life I've been reminded of the fact that I am that. Therefore, it is difficult to separate the identity of race when it comes to my identity as a person. This doesn't mean that my life is defined only by my race, but that I don't have the opportunity to separate the two.

Picture this, as a black man, everywhere I go, I am consistently reminded that I am that. When I walk into class, or just around campus, all I see are white faces. Yet, whenever a group of Asian, black or Hispanic students are sitting together at lunch, or hanging out in the SUB, why is it that all I hear is "What are all those black people doing sitting together? Why is it that all the Asians hang out together?"

White people sit together exclusively all the time, yet no one says anything about it. The next time you have to qualify or justify a statement that you've made, try to look at it through the eyes of someone who lives as a person of color in a tumultuous racial climate such as America. It's never funny when the joke is on you. Also, just because it is a "joke" doesn't mean that it isn't hurtful.

Now that's unfresh.

Another New Podcast! Prostitots and Vacancy!

2007-11-28T23:39:00.000-08:00

Another new podcast! And with a guest podcaster!

And were talkin about....the word "prostitot" which I heard for the first time in my Mass Media and Pop Culture class. I gave my friend Patrick a ring and we talked about the word "prostitot." And the DVD Vacancy. Which was really bad, by the way.

Check out Patrick's blog under my links section!

New Podcast!

2007-11-28T16:18:00.000-08:00

Here's the latest podcast!

And we're talking about... Girls who wear volleyball shorts and sweatshirts. Its fun! Listen!

Canada is Awesome/Horrible

2007-11-28T14:13:00.000-08:00

There are so many reasons to love Canada. I imagine it is very seasonal and lovely up there, health care is supposed to be great, and there is very little risk of dry-by shootings. Thats where Jim Carrey is from. And you get to hear their lovely accents. Aboot! Eh! Oooh, and no Bush!

But lets take a moment to talk about the horrible side of Canada.The fact that they should be called Canadans notwithstanding, and cute accents aside, Canada does have some pretty important issues. Like these PSAs. Now, apparently these are for work-related accidents, but they are pretty hardcore. I hope they don't show this on Nickelodeon. Canadian Nickelodeon.

Wrong, honey. Unfresh.

Pop Locking for Jesus. Unfresh.

2007-11-28T12:55:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, these girls opened up a Youthful Praise Concert recently.

They are wearing fur coats, and matching ponytails. Now, whats up with the ponytails? Buying your hair at the 99c store is not whats hot, yo.

They must have watched "Upgrade U" and tried to steal Beyonce's fur coat and big fat dookie braid look. A look which, mind you, was real hot in '93.

Now, there is nothing wrong with a little pop locking, I'm not even going to front and act like I never have. But come on, at the end of a church song? While you are wearing a fur coat? And a 40c dookie braid ponytail? Come on, now. Make sure you watch at about 4:19 when the pop locking goodness begins. Unfresh.

eta: Pop locking begins when there is about 1 minute left.

Not going to class. Ever.

2007-11-27T09:34:00.001-08:00

So I'm not going to Swahili today.

In addition to being ill, I really don't understand the homework. I never thought I'd be embarrassed to speak in class until I started my foreign language.

You sit there, and try to make sure that you have the sentence right when he calls on you. And if you're me and you really don't understand what he was talking about in the first place, you stumble around saying "Nina fundisha....sumaki" which I'm pretty sure means "I am learn fish."

I am very ready for Christmas break. I just got back from home, and I'm ready to leave, and just sleep a whole lot. Thats what I'm about.

One of the primary functions of holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas is to consume food and sleep. So thats what I'll be doing.

I started this blog 3 (can you believe it?) years ago. How crazy is that? When I began, and wore my hair in a bald fade and had just had my first ACL repair surgery on my knee. Now I'm in my junior year of college, and much is different.

For instance, I am slowing working up a debt of an excess of $100,000! Aint that grand! Thanks, Baylor!

It's DeAndre, Snitch

2007-11-27T08:57:00.000-08:00

Yes, yes, I know, its been awhile (almost a year) but I decided to come back with some heat for you people! Cause I know you loves it so much.

Right now I am actually kind of sick. I'm getting over it but my head is still hurting a bit. I should be at the radio station right now working, but I really don't feel like it. Plus I have Swahili homework.

Speaking of, Swahili = not as easy as everyone thinks. Everytime I say to someone, "Hey, I'm in Swahili!" They are all, "It's so easy isn't it!"

It's probably not as difficult as Spanish at Baylor, but it's still pretty difficult..I mean, its an entirely new language.

I digress.

On to unfreshness! Which is a bit old at this point, but I figured someone would get a kick out of it. This is Beyonce performing at the AMA's with some random country lady, and I'm not gonna lie, she sounds a hot funky mess.

What keeps getting me is the way home girl is struggling to hit those notes. "Ha-haa-ha-ha-hee-he-hayiyayayayya."

Unfresh.

DeAndre' or David?

2006-09-25T15:37:00.000-07:00

If you got tagged in this note, keep reading...

So ABC News released this article about 'white' names and 'black' names, and how different employers will hire you if you have a 'white sounding name'. Here is an excerpt of the article

The resumes with the white-sounding names were actually downloaded 17 percent more often by job recruiters than the resumes with black-sounding names.

So, for the information of these present, here is a list of the top 'black' sounding names, and the 'white'. As you can see, my name is at the top of the 'black.' That's why women and people who's names might be non-traditionally 'white' should always put their first initial and their last name on resumes. It keeps an air of ambiguosity about your sex and race. Enjoy!

20 "Whitest" Girl Names

Molly
Amy
Claire
Emily
Katie
Madeline
Katelyn
Emma
Abigail
Carly
Jenna
Heather
Katherine
Caitlin
Kaitlin
Holly
Allison
Kaitlyn
Hannah
Kathryn

20 "Blackest" Girl Names

Imani
Ebony
Shanice
Aaliyah
Precious
Nia
Deja
Diamond
Asia
Aliyah
Jada
Tierra
Tiara
Kiara
Jazmine
Jasmin
Jazmin
Jasmine
Alexus
Raven

20 "Whitest" Boy Names

Jake
Connor
Tanner
Wyatt
Cody
Dustin
Luke
Jack
Scott
Logan
Cole
Lucas
Bradley
Jacob
Garrett
Dylan
Maxwell
Hunter
Brett
Colin

20 "Blackest" Boy Names

DeShawn
DeAndre
Marquis
Darnell
Terrell
Malik
Trevon
Tyrone
Willie
Dominique
Demetrius
Reginald
Jamal
Maurice
Jalen
Darius
Xavier
Terrance
Andre
Darryl

So thats whassap

2006-09-21T12:12:00.000-07:00

Freaking hate Moody Library.

So I get to Moody to edit my PM1 project, and I realize I left my hard drive in my room. So I go back to the room, get the hard drive, and set down my bag because it is hot and the bag is too big. I go back to Moody, then realize that in the bag that I sat down was my Firewire cable, so I hike back to Pen island and get that. Then I sweat all the way back and to my chagrin, the lab that I need is now filled with a backpacking class. WTHECK? WHy do backpackers need computers! They don't, and the class didn't even use them. I was highly upset.

I turned it in, and it wasn't all that bad. Thanks to those who helped, including Jackie Woodward, Tim Clarky, Vic Oke, all yall.

I'm on call tonight, that is not cool. So come say hey.

The Freaky Deaky Fifth Grade Twins Story

2006-09-09T13:54:00.000-07:00

This is how the story goes;

I have a friend named Shane Keller. We are friends on AOL Instant Messenger.

One day I get an IM from someone. Hee is how the email went:

kneeboard: hey do you know trey hanley?
me: no, who is this?
kneeboard: lol, omg this is lysette
me: wtheck are you talking about?
kneeboard: I have to go now, brb bye

So, like three days later I get an IM from the same person:

kneeboard:hey, so do you know trey?
me: who is trey?
kneeboard: he is my friend...i got his buddy list and you're on it, lol

*i have no idea who this person is, but the name "trey hanley" sounds vaguely familiar. I do a facebook check. None.*

kneeboard: what grade r u in?
me: oh, I'm a sophomore. What year are you?
kneeboard: im in the fifth grade

*at this point I'm like WHATS GOIN ON? Then I realize...*

me: are you from Coppell?

Then all the pieces come together. My friend Shane has a little brother named Trey. Trey is mischevious and hacked his AIM, and then gave it out to his little friends.

Unfortunately for me, Lysette has a twin sister named Lynette, and they tag team me (no, not in that way, you perv). They each have a computer, apparnetly next to each other, and they both IM me from the respective screen names, and IM me all hours of the night.I finally block them. And thats the freaky deaky fifth grade twins story.

http://deandre.blogspot,,com

2006-08-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

So, Baylor Bookstore is trash. Wanna know why? Sure, I'll tell you.

(1) They jack their prices up like crazy. Understandable for a school bookstore, but dang, a 60% increase is not good business.

(2) What happened to me yesterday.

OK, so I finally got my VISA check card from Bank of America. I had to get one because they basically own the school, and Bank of America ATMs are the only ones on campus, so I finally gave in and got one, because ATM fees are too dang high.

I should have gotten my backs, say, i dunno TWO WEEKS AGO when school started, but all my money was on that card, and until I had that, i was peniless. Broke. A pauper. Toni Braxton. You get my drift.

So I finally get my little card and go to town, buting books that I need, and all that jazz. I get to the novel I need for my ethics class, On Personality, by Peter Goldie. There is only one book left, and it looks a bit wore out. You know how when you read a paperback, the spine is a bit wrinkled, and the front cover wont stay down? Well, it was like that.

So I asked a passing saleslady if the book was new or not, because it had no USED sticker on it. Our conversation went like this:

ME: Excuse me, ma'am, is this book new? It doesnt have a sticker, but it looks like its been used.

LADY: Its new.

ME: Are you sure, it looks a bit worn.

LADY: Trust me, its new.

ME:....OK.

So I buy it, then take it back to the desk and Galan starts looking through it and sees that its all highlighted and penciled up. So I take it back to the store not two hours after I had bought it. I get in line and arrange it so that I don't get the lady I talked to before, but she is next to the cashier, and hears everything.

LADY #2: Can I help you?

ME: I sure hope so...I just bought this book, and paid a new price for it, but I just found out it was used, see (I show her the marked up pages)

*brief pause*

LADY: Well, I don't know...you really should have looked at it before you bought it.

It was all I could do to keep my peace. I almost went off, but after talking to different managers and textbook peple, I finally got my lil 5 dollars back.

Now you might say, "What is five dollars to you? It isnt even that much money?"

Listen to Beyonce:

I don't think you do. So you and me are through.

deandre.blogspot.com

2006-08-27T15:04:00.000-07:00

Stupid School.

Stupid Campus Living and Learning.

(Ok, j/k on that last part.)

So, here's the thing about being a CL (RA). Because you work with the people you live with, and the people you live with are the people you work with, you have this tendency to get darn cliquey. Not neccesarily a bad thing, but it becomes an issue (for me, at least) when the only conversations I 've had in the past week are about my residents and CL&L.

Our clique even has a Facebook group. And the fact that I called it a clique is retarded. Clique.
We basically hang out all the time...once again, not a bad thing because they are dannng cool. But every now and then I make a conscious effort to GET OUT OF THE DADGUM BUILDING. Its like a freeking fortress.

So, my computer is having some issues, I will ship it to Gateway to get the sound card fixed once my brand new Bank of America Visa Check card comes in the mail tommorow....and I get a mailbox. Stupid Baylor didn't have a mailbox for me for some reason. How teh gay is that?

And how teh gay is the fact that I've just said "teh gay" twice (now three) in two sentences?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

My dorm room is awesome - excuse me, ahem, residence hall room (darn you CL&L!) is awesome, but the beds suck. In Martin the furniture was moveable and the bed rested against the wall, making sort of a headboard. Here they are conected to the desks, and its not comfortable. Plus I have ants. Dangit.

DeAndre'

2006-08-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

You know what I hate? When you read the back of a book and instead of there being a synopsis of the novel or reviews of it, there are reviews of some of the journalists works. Why would I buy "Red River Down" if I wanted to read about the mans previous work, "Dwontown Julie Brown" or whatever the hay he is pimping that day?

To all who are reading this over at thefacebook.com, come check out the orginal page, http://deandre.blogspot.com

-Peace Chiruns

Sushi from WALMART?

2006-08-03T20:36:00.000-07:00

Seeing as though my life is basically a revolving door of reality television, i got to thinking about something as I watched "Who Wants To Be A Superhero" on Sci-Fi (which is actually a decent how, IMO) - how bad would it suck to be the guy that got kicked off, or left for a stupid reason?

There was that hag Cassandra in Next Top Model, I think Cycle 5 or something, who whined about having her hair cut and dyed, even though she looked alot better afterwards. So she cried and weeped, until Mr Jay told her that she could go on and step if she wanted to. And she did.

She said something about how she wasnt going to let anyone walk all over her....Ummm isnt that the reason your on Top Model? Not to let someone walk over you, but to give you direction? I thought finally there was a smart mom when Cassandra was on the phone and her mom said, "Think about this...hair grows back" in sort of a oh-my-god-you-are-stupid-how-did-you-come-out-of-me way.

The next was on "Who Wants To Be a Superhero" where whats-his-face was eliminated in the first 35 seconds, when there was an undercover "mole" who exposed some things they said behind the scenes. Apparently he wanted to sell action figures of his superhero, and superheros (according to Stan Lee) don't do that ish. There would be a picture, except he really did get kicked off in like the first 35 seconds and I cant remember his name.

Then there's Keith from PR3. Oh Keith, we hardly knew ye's squinty eyed head roll. Keith was caught with instructional how-to books, which, as the contestants (KAYNE) pointed out, are totally illegal. Too bead he was one of the best, even with his weird attitude and awkward comments (Laura's BAD MOMMY. I had a GOOD MOMMY).

Sigh.

Oh, and I went to Wal-Mart today, and they had remodeled and gotten all this new stuff, and at the entrance was this sign that said, "NEW! Sushi..from WALMART" and I exclaimed very loudly, catching the attention of the elderly receipt checker/greeter, that who in their right mind would buy sushi from Walmart? That was until I saw the free samples of it set out, and hey, who am I to turn down a free sample? It was pretty good, but I gotta tell ya, Ive been feelin kinda gassy since I ate it *burp*

Lata

A snake, a condom, a bottle of pills, and a role model

2006-07-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

So, lets count out the things that Ive seen this week while I was running:

A dead, bloated snake. Ew, how horribly gross.

A bottle of pills for Dara Coats from Las Vegas, Nevada. I couldn't tell for what, because I didnt want to be seen holding a mysterious bottle of pills in the middle of the street.

A used condom....double ew.

Coach Baker.

Hmmm...what was so notable about seeing Coach Baker? Coach Baker was the first black male that I ever had for a teacher or a coach. To some people it wouldnt really make sense that its notable that I think of my my first black male teacher so highly, but in the life of a student (a person who is not me) that has no male role models, let alone black male role models in the classroom, it is completely wonderous to have someone who represents a positive image to students.

I spoke on the phone to two different people today equaling an amount of time for over an hour. Dag, I'm becoming such a phone-talking-facebooker.

D

Baby I Swear Its Deja Vu

2006-07-27T20:33:00.000-07:00

Lord, please don't ever let me make a music video, because people are CRAZY.

Thanks to Crunk+Disorderly for the heads up.

To: Columbia Records, A Division of Sony BMG

This petition is for the advocacy of having Ms. Beyonce' Knowles, Columbia Records, Music World Entertainment, and all other entities associated with the creative process of creating the long-form music video known as "Deja Vu" reshoot aforementioned video immediately.

This video is an underwhelming representation of the talent and quality of previous music video projects of Ms. Knowles. The following problems have been pointed out by numerous fans on and offline:

A) There is no clear story or theme to the video
B) The dancing is erratic, confusing and alarming at times
C) The sexual themes and shots between Ms. Knowles and Mr. Sean Carter PKA Jay-Z, are alarming and show unacceptable interactions between the two
D) The fashion in this video, while haute-couture, is unbelievable and ridiculous
E) The editing, while professionally done, causes one to get dizzy and disoriented
F) The overall feel of the video leaves a sense of much to be desired
G) The video is very disappointing and is not a clear representation of any of the songs themes

We, the fans of one Beyonce' Knowles, ask that an alternative video be shot featuring; more choreographed & less spontaneous dancing, clearer visual themes that relate to the lyrics of the song, less gyrating, less scenes of non-existent sexual chemistry between Mr. Carter and Ms. Knowles, less zooming and quick cut edits and a more stylized and clear direction for all other aspects of the video production.

Suggested in this re-shoot would be the hire of another producer besides Ms. Sophie Mueller -- one more acclimated to urban themes and imagery in music videos, other than Hype "Letterbox" Williams.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

What do you think? I mean, she do be flailing around, but really... a petition? Check out the vid and see for yourself.

An Open Letter

2006-07-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Wayans Brothers,

Stop.

Sincerely, America

Hmmm

2006-07-20T15:10:00.000-07:00

I was at WalMart today and I totally saw Kirsten Dunst. Then I realized that it was just a pasty young woman who needed a meal.

DeAndre.

Dang you ants!

2006-07-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

So, I've cut myself twice in the last three weeks. Not in like a self-harming way, but by being extremely clumsy. The first time I was cutting an apple and got distracted and dern near sliced through my thumb. Then yesterday I was slicing cookie dough and I cut my other thumb. What's really going on in my unverse?

I went to Six Flags over Texas last week with the fam. Not only my parents and sister, but THE FAM. That means five of my moms nine siblings, and all of their bad children. We were at WalMart the night before and almost got thrown out because they kept running around, throwing footballs, breaking china, looking suspicous, screaming and whatnot. We were on this ride, Judge Riley Scream, or something, and at the end of the ride, one of m cousins screamed out "WHAT THE F***" just because he felt like it. This little boy next to him repeated it and his mom told he not to. He said it again and he got a beatdown, all because of my cousin.

So, I'm sitting watching the Six Flags performers lypsync their way through a 20 minute performance about the yellow rose of Texas and how great Six Glafs is and blah-blah. I'm sitting on this sort of triangular stone thing on grass with a flower bed in the middle.

These bad kids, who were not related to me, btw, were sitting behind me, and their being pretty loud, and then they get quiet. I dont really notice because I'm watching this thick girl lyp sync to Celebrate Good Times Come On (She wasnt fat per se, her outfit just didnt fit her) and then the little boys go "Hey, you have ants on you" THESE BAD LITTLE KIDS HAD BEEN PLAYING IN AN ANTBED, ET ANTS CRAWL INTO MY PANTS AND DRAWS AND THEN TELL ME THAT I HAVE ANTS ON ME....LIKE ITS MY FAULT.

I had to go to the filthy Six Flags restroom, take off all my clothes and shoes, and shake ants out of them. Did I mention that I am allergic to ants? So I have huge larger than life ant bits all over me...and dangerously close to my junk. I was rather upset.

OK, rant over. Peace

D Urbn

PS everyone watch Project Runway! It is the ish!

In the Case of 3 month old Dylan...You are NOT the Father!

2006-07-05T12:27:00.001-07:00

"I have genital herpes.

I try not to let it control my life...but sometimes, its hard to remember to take all those pills...thats why I use Valtrex...I'm stopping the transmission of genital herpes by using it...and I feel good about that."

Come on, people. I do not need to see this inbetween episodes of Maury and Judge Hatchett...on second thoought...right now, the screen on Maury says "I Cheated With 2 Men...Our Baby May Not Be Yours!" Maybe that explains it.

ANywayz, I went out for my run today, and found a beer bottle in the front yard. So I threw it away, and walked to the neighbors house (not the adulturer's; the drug dealer's) and their house is littered with beer bottles. They had this huge party last night, because their parents went out of town...when will they get smart and realize their kids are bad and cannot be left alone?

Flashback to 4th of July about 4 or 5 years ago. They have a big party as we have a family reunion in our backyard, two guys start fighting over this painfully ugly girl (I mean really...she was UGLY...a cheerleader who tanned about every other day, and weighed abou tthe size of a tootsie role). One guy pulls out a gun and they start shooting.

Fastforward about 3 years. Little Johnny gets caught at school selling large amounts of coke and weed out of the back of his car.

Ahhh...so refreshing to see a family make the most of their oppurtunities.

Lite Bright

2006-07-04T18:46:00.000-07:00

So I went to H-E-B to purchase some delicious apple caramel dip, and as I was leaving, this black woman came up to me and ask, "Excuse me, what is your race?," and I was like, "black."

Hmm.

Even taking in the fact that I have dreadlocks, and the fact that my complexion teeter-totters dangerously close to lite-brite, I can't really fathom what homegirl was getting at. Maybe she thought I was from the Carribean or something...hmmm. I'm watching Just Friends. Ill talk to you when its over. Lata/

I am afraid of Pickles.

2006-07-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

Remember the post about that episode of Maury with the women who were afraid of various things?

The original post is under the March archive.

Here's a clip from it! Must see!! http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1697545/

PS its raining now and that sucks.

DeAndre'

Auf Wiedersehen

2006-07-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

So, what do you do when you are bored, everyone hates you and those who dont are out of town on the 4th of July? Why, you watch the Project Runway marathon on Bravo!

While I'm watching, Ive been seeing the advertisements for something called Autocool. THe commercial starts with this woman getting into a car, and burning the mess out of her hands on the steering wheel. Quite humourous.

Anyway, Autocool clips on to the window of your car and is powered solarly to get a fan going that keeps your car cool. Heres the website. Not saying that you should buy one, but if you do, you should def let me know if it works. I mean, its 14.99, where can you go wrong?

Its back on, ttyl, omg, brb, wtf

Auf Wiedersehen

Pre 4th of July: Also, Desperate Housewives in Imperial Oaks?

2006-07-03T15:02:00.000-07:00

So I've now watched Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunte Events, and the people next door are about to get on my nerves.

As a person who spends most of his day sleeping because he applied late to summer school and works from home, I see a lot of what goes on down the street. My sister believes that the woman nex door is having a hot steamy affair with the man down the street, because as soon as he goes to work, she dissapears down the street.

Anyway, she has no job, so she and he spend most of their time drinking alcohol in the middle of the day and popping out babies.

Today they are having some sort of early 4th celebration and making a racket. Bwah. I'm going to defrost this lasange for din-din...

2006-07-03T13:56:00.000-07:00

So, Feminine Hygeine commercials seen today: 0. Another day of victory.

Perhaps the reason that there have been none is because I have been watching HBO all day. So far I have seen Fear featuring Mark Whalberg and Reese Witherspoon, A Lot Like Love, with Ashton Kutcher, and I am currently on Without a Paddle...I came in 10 minutes late, and you guys know how much I hate that.

I AM SO BORED. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH.

Somebody call me or IM me and hang out with me, keyword being ME.

PEACE!

HESHE!!!

2006-06-28T19:01:00.000-07:00

OK, so I'm here at this Burger King at University, because I can't meet my friend till 10, and I dont want to pay for parking, and for some reason this Burger King has Wifi. I didnt want to be cheap, so I bought a Dutch Apple pie off of the dollar menu and am currently eating it.

ANyway, I just came from Wendy's, were I sat down and managed to kill about an hour of time with a Spicy Chicken Sandwich, small fries, and yogurt with granola. Anyway, there was this mentally retarded transexual person in there I swear to GOD. I walked in and she/he was trying to get people to vote for some congressman or senator or something. At first I thought he/she was married to this dude in the corner, because he/she was all up in his business and he had two kids. She was acting like the kids were hers or something, dag.

Anyway, he left, and I thought she was gone, because she left with him...I later found out she was just harrassing him in the parking lot. She came back, and I just KNEW she was going to say something to me. I just knew he/she was, because besides the people working, I was the only one sitting down eating.

So the little bells came on, I guess they anounce the fact that the fries are done, and he/she began this long ramble about how the bells are the theme of superman and could I guess who her favorite superhero was. I was like "thats nice, yeah cool awesome leave bye" but he/she didnt get the hint. More on her later, my ride is here.

19!!

2006-06-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

I'm 19!!!!

Whoooooo!

So I had an awesome birthday, thanks to all. I dont feel like writing right now, but felt the need to update, so I'll see you kids lata, aiight!?!?!?!

Holla

Yeast...seriously, Yeast

2006-05-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to
Its Time Now
by Tye Tribbett and GA

Do you know what i am sick of? Feminine hygiene commercials. Since its summer and I am yet employed, I spend a lot of time watching teh tube, and I tell you the truth, women have just about every single viable option in the world to take care of them. All we have is a choice between a gel or a solid.

I saw this commercial for something called "AZO Yeast Pills," and their slogan was "An AZO Yeast Pill a Day Keeps the Yeast Infection Away." WTF?

I even googled "AZO Yeast Pill" and came up with nothing, except women saying how it works. Something to do with cranberries...

Then, there is the most imaginative name for a product ever, "Yeastaway." Really. Couldn't think of anything more original? Or even remotely un...yeasty?

Come on people.

DUrban

IM BORED

2006-05-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

Im quite lonely.

I miss all my friends from school, I hesitate to say this, but its sort of like when you graduate high school, you burna lot of bridges just because its time to move on. You come back, and now you have a completely different set of friends, who you probably like more, because in high school, friendship was pretty much based on the proximity of people to you; my graduating class was about 430 and I knew almost every single person. In college, there are 14,000 and I have chosen my friends, and that doesnt lessen the high school relationships, it just makes them..less. Somehow.

If you wanna do something, hit me up.

Bored.

DUrban

I Think We're In A Bit of a Pickle, Dick

2006-05-27T10:06:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to:
I Have Nothing
by Whitney Houston

(yeah, I know, random)

You're I remember, forever...
but dont make me CLOSE ONE MORE DOOOOOR

Anyway, so last week I go to get mah hurr did in Houston, at this little dreadlock shop called Wise Choice. A little background on this place: Last August I had an appointment and I Mapquested the directions and somehow spent 5 hours trying to get there, got lost, and ended up having to go back home.

So this time I got the directions from the stylist and I drove there. But before I went, my mother had something to tell me. Apparently she was watching the news and she saw a special about Salvadorian gangs in Houston. She kept telling me not to stop, dont slow down, and if I saw someone suspicious, to call the police. I was like, Mama, its Houston; dang near everybody is suspicious. Plus, my appointment was at 12:30. IN THE AFTERNOON. She replies by telling me, "Fool around and get cut up. These gangs arent anything to mess around with."

So I drive to Houston, about an hour drive to the place, and about every five minutes my phone is blowing up becuase shes afraid that I have been captured, and when she calls I will be able to reach my phone and yell a description of my attackers complete with my location so that she may relay that to the po-pos.

It didnt help that when I googled "salvadorian gangs in houston" I came up with ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Here are these little quizzes that they put on people's Myspaces (of which I have but never use - friend me!: http://www.myspace.com/deandreupshaw) and before I took it I thought I was pretty hardcore (ok, im not really hardcore at all). It proved me wrong, because my answer was like "no" to everything.

D UrbN

eta: OK, this really didnt turn out right, and I deleted it, but I couldnt get the table off. Go to myspace to see it. Holla!

A chapter from the Novel that is my life

2006-05-15T19:17:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to
Brighter Day
by Kirk Franklin

About 4 or 5 years ago, my family became the first in the neighborhood to get an automatic sprinkler system. The rest of the families still used garden hoses attatched to twirly thingies to give their grass much needed water during the year, and could be seen during the especially Texas hot summer months water by hand, with a hose.

After we got ours, as we would pass those who weren't as cool as us and had to water their grass by plug in sprinkler, or even worse, by hand,and my father would cackle and laugh at them, scoffing at their inability and have theirs set on a timer, and he would pull up to our house and look lovingly at the fresh crop of green blades.

After my brother and I went to college, m y father turned lawn duties over to a service, and they would come about every other weekend and take on all the maitenence duties, and my father rarely worries about those things now.

When I got home today, I he was in the middle of the lawn soaking wet, in overalls, trying to fix one of the sprinkler heads, which apparently took some bad X the night before, because it was werratically shooting into the sky, making an amazing fountain.

He eventually fixed it, but I couldnt help but think that there was probably some dad that drove by and cackled, thinking about how much easier and reliable it was to water the lawn by hand.

D. Urban

The Poseidon Adventure!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-11T22:50:00.000-07:00

Currently watching (why?)
Last Call with Carson Daly

I just saw The Poseidon Adventure. It was meh, good at best, but the characters didnt really get as developed as you would think.

So tommorow, I get to see Mr Mayo, and if you know anything, I have not seen the Codeman since my Jr Year in High School, and we are finally reuniting at Grapevine Mills Mall at 3:45, how exciting is that?! I hadnt even seen a picture of him until about last month when Bef showed me his myspace, andhere we are/ We're gonna have an awesome time...Ill holla at you kids later, because Im gonna nap....peace...

D. Urban

2006-05-11T18:51:00.000-07:00

Currently watching
Tiara Girls
on MTV
(I am in no way endorsing this show...it just happens to be on)

New template, I hope all you kids like it...it took me a few tries, but I finally got it right...hopefully I can fix the tables so they dont run into the text...I am in Coppell and will be until Saturday, when I go back to the W for Caleb's wedding...I'll be in Houston on Saturday night, and I'll see you guys there.

D. Urban

Rule #386

2006-05-07T19:44:00.000-07:00

Currently Listening to
I Am Not My Hair
by India.Arie

Rule of Life #386

Whenever the elevator moves too slow and you give up and decide to take the stairs, the second you walk away is when it will open.

-D. Urban

A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A

2006-05-04T20:51:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to
Girl
by Davy Jones (from The Brady Bunch Movie Soundtrack)

So I have to move out of my beautiful elegant room in a bout a week. It was good to have this large luxurious space that was the envy of all freshman on campus, but alas, I must leave you...to go work in God-forsaken Penland....were I will be a CL with a roomie for the first coupla weeks. Thats cool though, I'm over it.

Unfortunately, my roomate and I will probably not be departing ways on good terms...for....reasons... Thats too bad because he was awesome overall, except for two distinct occasions, and both of those were the same reason why we will probably not be *good* friends after we stop living together.

Hypothetical and rhetorical question: If you meet someone under bad circumstances (on their part...they were doing something morally wrong, in your eyes at least) then should that impression be all that you think of them? Its darn confusing, because your first insticnt is to dislike that person, because thats all you really know of them...this has got me confused and bored so I shall stop writing now.

OK< took my Race Class and Gender final today, and it was a 60 question exam, and out of that 60, only about 16 of the problems were not the letter "A". I'm serious, I have a scantron full of "A". Luckily I wasn't the only person, everyone else had that, but dag, thats a dirty trick. Even though I knew my answers were right, I kept second guessing myself, and thats what those dirty profs want you to do, get all nervous and mess up. But I kept my coo.

Gotta study for another (second and final) for tommorow, math, ugh. I'll holla.

DeAndre'

2006-04-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to
Everything I Do
by Bilal and Beyonce

Ya, I know, its been about 20 days since last update, you know, and I'm cool with that...to all 4 of you who read, I'm sure you missed it (tongue in cheek).

Lots to update, but no time- Don't worry...I have two finals next week, and I'm going to be here for two weeks...plenty 'o' time, mkay?

We'll have an MCC.

-DeAndre'

No...More.. Drama...

2006-04-07T00:07:00.000-07:00

...and the drama happened.

What posseses people to drink alcohol?

Why do they do it?

shahhhhhhh

My heart is heavy with the weight of the world.

Take it from Mary J.

-DeAndre'

DIADELOSOOOO!

2006-04-06T00:21:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to
Speak Lord
by Tamela Mann

I am up too late.

Diadeloso is tommorow, which means, 'Day of the Bear.'

We have no class, yet someone decided that HV should sing..and be first on the program, so up at 9 for me...I don't even wake up that early during the regular school week.

Meh.

Drama is ensuing...stay tuned.

Mmmmmmm...Starch

2006-03-30T20:51:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Be Without You (Remix feat. Stat Quo)
Mary J. Blige

I am currently enjoying the American dream. A half gallon of delicious carbonated water (in this case, Dr Pepper) and some awesome starchy cheap dollar store chips.

Uncle Ray's Kosher Dill Pickles are actually quite delicious, and I like them better than their counterpart, Lay's Dill Pickle, because Uncle Ray's are sweet.

And sweetness is good.

Stompfest is on Saturday.

ASA will win.

I have spyware.

Every now and then advertisements will come up asking me if I am lonely, and if so, there is a beautiful naked woman availible to me.

After 56,008 times, that gets old.

Enjoy this clip from the "Flavor of Love" Reunion Show.

New York almost kills Pumkin...with her weave.

The end.

Goodnight.

ETA: Check out Pumkin scurrying like a little coakroach!
Also, someone just burnt popcorn across the hall and I am pretty sure the fire alarm is going to go off.

The UnCola (UnCoke, that is)

2006-03-26T22:33:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Friend of God
by Israel and New Breed

I am addicted to freakin soda.

It snuck up on me. I am addicted to carbonated beverages. And not just any.

Dr Pepper products.

That's right, one of my new favorite drinks is RC Cola. I can't even drink coke, it just isn't as tasty.

Stupid Baylor, brainwashing students, what with its Chrisitanity and delicous caramel colored beverages.

Check out this link to RC Cola, I think in the Middle East. It is quite trippy.

http://www.rc.co.il/

I just had one, it is darn delicious. I also now enjoy Dr Pepper, from the tap, of course.

Thats why I don't understand why people loooooooooove to drink alcohol. Why pay like 5 dollars for a drink that stings your throat when you could shell out 60 cents for a delicious frosty can of delicious liquified sugar?

Shaaaaaaaah

2006-03-23T17:31:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Lickshots
by Missy Elliot

Thats right, people, I'm back and theres nothing you can do about it.

Iwas academically advised today, and that was exciting and fun. The woman seemed to not want to let me officially switch majors; I was registered as a Telecomm major, but really wanted to do Journalism, but the hag told me the wrong thing at my first advising appointment; she said I should def go the route of a telecomm major, even though writing is my thing.

NEWAY,

Even though I've only taken two classes that pertain to my major, and both of the are prereqs for Telecomm and JOU, she kept going....'Are you sure yo want to do this...There is NO TURNING BACK,' like this was some bad Indy movie.

It is unseasonably cold in Waco.

Tommorow the weeeekend begins, praise His name.

The worst thing about Waco and my home town of Cornroe Texas, is that they are both inherently boring places. They are so boring, unless you have plenty of friends, which, praise
Him again, I do.

Someone needs to clean the bathroom down the hall. It is gross.

Holla,

D

TV is a Secret Joy.

2006-03-18T13:01:00.000-08:00

Currently watching
101 Celebrity Slimdowns
where else? on E!

Once again, Entertainment Television, also known as 'E!', has proven that as long as they put '101' in front of ANYTHING, lazy viewers like myself will watch. Keep your eyes peeled for '101 Celebrity Pieces of Tissue Papper That We Stole From The Garbage.' It'll be a hit. Watch.

My Name Is Mariah and I Am Afraid of Pickles.

2006-03-17T21:36:00.000-08:00

Currently watching
Food Network Unwrapped
where else? on The Food Network

As you can probably tell, all I have been doing this break is vegging out and watching tremendous amounts of trashy tv, oh yes. Including, but not limited to, Top Chef, Project Runway, plenty of Foodnetwork, Maury Povich, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mablean, Judge Judy, Judge Hatchett, Judge Mills Lane, Judge Alex, and of course, Flavor of Love.

The most interesting thing was Maury, when they had "My Fear Is Ruining My Life!" where these women came on the show discussing how they were morbidly afraid of random things. Dogs, balloons, and these two women who were afraid, one of pickles, and the other of mustard. So, what did they think, that they were not going to come into contact with their phobias? Of course, Maury comes out with a huge platter full of mustard, sends the woman to a pickle and cucumber factory, and brings out puppies.

This one woman was so afraid of dogs, that she buys frozen hamburger patties and puts one in her person each morning, "So if the dogs attack me I can throw the meat one way and run the other."

I was thinking about how funny it would be if Maury turned to the pickle woman, Mariah, and was like, "Mariah, look at me. I want you to take your hand," and she would do it because Maury Povich would never ever lead her astray, "and reach your hand into the crevice between the cushion of the armrest, there is a check for 3,000 dollars in there," and she would, trusting Maury. But then her face would recoil in fear when she realizes that Maury had tricked her and is actually Satan. Oh wait, thats his wife. Connie Chung. Who is Satan.

Shananananana

2006-03-16T01:56:00.000-08:00

Listening to NOTHING
Because it is 4:00 in the morning.

Spring BREAKKKKK

is almost over.

It is Thursday.

I have done nothing but sleep. And it is glorious. However, I was at Wally World teh other day, and I was wondering why whenever I purchase a pair of underwear, there is always one pair that is smaller than the others? What's up with that?

Also, why is it that there are always the most random pictures on the boxes? Like, somebody standing out in an open field ina pair of drawers?

I saw "The Hills Have Eyes" tonight, def an awkward movie. About on par with "Devil's Rejects," another movie that I had no prior knowledge of until I sat down to watch it. Imagine my surprise...

I'm rollin back to the Waco on Sunday, so I'll all you coo cats and cattettes then. Because I can make up words like "cattette," that means I am cool.

And we do it real big...

2006-03-01T13:14:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
My Humps (Crunked Mix)
by The Black Eyed Peas

Hey! Now you can check out KCEN's broadcast! Right here! On Flat Soda! Hope you enjoy it...btw, I look quite fat, so squint a little when I come on the screen.

The Mystery of Mariah's Weave

2006-02-19T14:30:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
I Will Always Love You
by Whitney Houston

Mimi, whoever told you that 16 inches of horsehair in your head was a good look lied to you. "Fly Like A Bird" is a crunk song, though. Check out the performance.

Feeyalings

2006-02-15T21:23:00.000-08:00

Sometimes there are just people that you feel complete with when you are around them. You didn't even know that you were lacking without them, but then when your energies meet, you regain what you had been missing that whole time.

And that is an awesome feeling.

-

2006-02-06T22:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes you just have to sit back and let God work.

See a later

Life = Not Cool

2006-01-31T21:18:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
For You I Will
by Monica

Here's a secret:

Life sucks. It sucks way hard. Wanna know how/why?

Becuase here's what we do. For 12 years in school, we spend 5 days of the week dreading the next day. There is absolutely nothing appealing about going to school everyday, and going through routine. So you live for the weekends, and you go wild and crazy. So heres your routine: Hate everday, and then have two days of happiness.

So then you get into college, and you say, well, now i can finally enjoy my life, because I am not strapped down in this stupid routine, the routine of doing the same stupid ish day in day out, and then living for the weekend, having fun for 48 hours and then going back to the mundane. So you wait it out, until you graduate.

So then you get a job, and you think, well hot dang, now I can finally live my life. But no! Your life is now in a horrible, terrible cycle and you cannot stop it. You go five days with it sucking, then you have two that are cool. Then you die at 53 from an embollism, and no one comes to your funeral, because it is on a Tuesday and they all have to work.

My remedy? Become a movie star. Or a bum. Preferably a movie star. Then you could kiss pretty women. Or at least be on Oprah.

Bianca, Mariah, and Bag Lady

2006-01-31T08:32:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
Stand Up for Love
by Destiny's Child

The best thing about having a teacher with kids is that every single time the wind shifts they get ill. And then she can't hold class. Mu haha, just kidding, I hope her kids get better.

So, with all this lack of class, I have decided to finish a conversation that I was having with some friends the other day. Who are the top five singers of our generation?

Well, the thing is, they are often wrong. Anyway, we couldn't get past 3, because I really don't like Celine Dion at all. What we did say was that none of these people are on the list:

Ashanti
Jessica Simpson
Brittany Spears
Ashlee Simpson (Oh Em Gee)
Mandy Moore
Caline Dion, only because I dislike her

so the list is:

3. Bianca (also known as Beyonce, if you are down like that)

The reson that Bianca is number three is only because she is so young and (relativatively (sp)) new to the industr as compared to numbers 2 and 3. In addition to being able to sing, she also has some crunk songs. I mean straight up, Bianca can sang. Even if you don't like her, she can sing circles around most artists today.

2. Mariah

Despite the fact that she can't seem to keep her clothes on, Mariah is still Mariah. I mean, she is Mariah. And if you don't know what that sentence means, I suggest you go buy Charmbracelet or some junk like that, because Mimi has a five octave voacl range that most of us have forgetten about because she keeps having nervous breakdowns and forgetting to put on clothes before she leaves the house. Her is a reminder of all that this heifer is capable of: (If you do not want to lose your eardrums, watch with caution - these high notes are in the whistle register, and she sounds like a dog. Also, most of the video was when she knew the joy of wearing clothes that actually covered her body...ooh, and watch for fat Oprah)

1. Of course, Crazy Whitney

Whitney, despite her crazy, is the greatest singer of my time, I believe, even thought she is really close to not being in my time, becuase she is like, 80, and on crack. But even Mariah can't match Whitney when she gets going.

People asked, why isn't Beyonce higher? Well, give it a few years because, this is the current state of Whitney and Mariah:

Give it time Bianca, give it time.

The Next American Idol

2006-01-26T14:41:00.000-08:00

So I am back after a very prolonged absence with a new laptop and a full schedule.

I dropped to 12 hours becuase I am basically working three jobs; I work as a Chapel Assistant and that gets me 5 hours of work study per week at the low low price of minimum wage. Yipee.

Then I work at the RoundUp which is baylor's premiere (read: only) yearbook, min. 2 hours a week, max 8.

The most exciting one is at the boys basketball games where I work as a grip for cameramen, and guess who pays my salary....thats right, ERT, otherwise known as ESPN Regional Television. How exciting. Really.

I have a had a bit of a long day so I'm going to leave you with this video. Have nice lives. And enjoy Rhonetta...long, but worth it, so worth it.

Aaaargh

2006-01-20T13:20:00.000-08:00

The other day the fire alarm went off in my dorm. This wouldn't be so bad, if only I hadn't settled down in the office to grade some papers when it went off. And by office I mean bathroom. And by grade papers I mean...

Aargh.

Geeeeve me a Keeees

2005-12-29T14:45:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Talk Dirty To Me
by Posion

And baby we'll be
At the drive-in
In the old man's Ford
Behind the bushes
Til I'm screamin for more
Down the basement
Lock the cellar door
And baby
Talk dirty to...
Meeeeeee

That is the ish. For Christmas I got Scrubs Season 2 and I decided to refresh myself with season one before watching two. It is all of that and a bowl of grits. If you are not down with Scrubs, you need to be, because it is all of that.

Hope everyone had a merry Christmas, and I'll write some more from my desktop later on, because Living Single is on. Holla - Dre Dub

Broke-A Laptop

2005-12-27T16:31:00.000-08:00

Sorry guys, my laptops DEAD. DEAD. No posts for a little while, till I get it fixed....Holla back! Hope everyone had a good Deck 25!

Why are you still talking!?!?!

2005-12-16T22:14:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
New York, New York
by Frank Sinatra

Here's what I don't get about my father. He has a 2004 Dell computer, a 5 month old Bose sound system (state of the are junk) a brand new Chrysler 300 in the driveway, and he still has dial-up. What up wit dat? I mean, he is a man of the 21st century. His phone cost a good $200+ (it is a workphone though) but still. I want cable dangit. Or even LAN. LAN would be nice. Luckily for me, this laptop has wireless, so I can secretly mooch off the next door neighbors, mu ha ha. The only thing bad about that is that I have to sit still in a certain spot (I just realized my room gets it GREAT) and if I move even a little bit, its shot to you know where.

For those of you who may not know, my laptop crashed. It crashed HARD. I have a sneaking supsicion its because I installed Service Pack 2. Oh, yes, I think that was it. I was stuck in a reboot loop, which is so horrible because your computer will boot, get to the welcome screen, and then restart. Even if you try in VGA, Safe, or any of those other modes. So I ended up going to the Student Bookstore and getting my 5 dolla student copy of XP and re-installing it. Nasty business. Lucky it was at the end of the semester and I really didnt need those papers and stuff, but all my pictures, my cherished photographs were now gone. Oh well, they are all online on The Facebook anyway.

Shalalalalalalala.

You know that Family Guy episode, I actually think it was the first one, where fathers know automatically if someone touches the thermostat? I swear its true. I am a warm natured person, and it is almost always way to warm for me in the house, and I would change the thermostat, and instasntly he would know. He just called up and asked me if I had changed it, but I didn't. Maybe his fatherthermostatometer is messing up in his old age. Mu ha ha.

It seems as though beautiful supermodels who are now sort of chunky have grasped a hold of my life. The other day. Project Runway, and yesterday I watched an America's Next Top Model marathon on VH1, and let me tell you, it was really good. I mean, I used to dislike Tyra for some reason (black people don't really need a reason not to like somebody) but now she is my homegirl. I started watching from the episode when she went off on that girl Tiffanie ("Shut UP! STOP IT! WHY ARE YOU TALKING!") all the way when Keenyah started gaining weight and Tyra informed her that they had to airbrush her picture more than anyone else's to get rid of her big ol' crossioint eatin gut.

I couldn't help but realize, though, that Tyra was lookin a little chunky herself. Not fat, but not supermodel thin, either, which I don't mind. She adressed it in a one on one with Keenyah when she was all "You have to learn how to go by the rules of the system...I had to, and now since I don't do runway anymore, I can let go a little, eat what I want. But you don't have that luxury."

The funniest thing to me, is when it was down to the last two girls, and they announced the winner. The girl who didn't win, Khalen, started weeping, and goin "Huh.....I could have done so much better! Agh!" Doesn't she watch American Idol? Doesn't she know that the runner up gets as much if not sometimes more as the winner? Even though she didn't win, she still got second OUT OF THOUSANDS OF GIRLS. I don't think any modeling agency is going to say, "Khalen, we were thinking of hiring you...but we noticed you came second on America's Next Top Model. I'm afraid we cannot hire you. Good day."

Thats all for now, but before I go...

This is my best friend ever. Straight up, my road dog and I love him, he's my brother. This is from a play we were in during HS, and thats me in the left corner, the green one. See yall next time.

If you thought Waco was boring...

2005-12-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

Currently watching
Project Runway

I'm getting slightly hooked on this Project Runway show. I just got home and, as you know, Baylor has major issues because we are on some different schedule than everyone else in the entire universe. Half of my friends don't even get here till next week, but I guess thats the price you pay when your ridicoulously overprices parochial private school is on the old Anglican Calendar.

I want a reality tv show. I wonder what my little catch phrase would be though. "Get the eff out!" instead of "You're fired." And instead of writing a thank-you note to the loser, I would probably do a driveby-bye. Like, "Shameka...get the eff out." and then you would see her weeping, and running out to the cab, and then suddenly, "I...said...get...the...eff...OUT!" and my masked gunmen would rush out and, you know, finish the deed. Mu ha ha.

Oh, H To Tha No

2005-12-12T22:06:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
Have You Ever
by Brandy

Oh yes. I am listening to Brandy. And it is old school Brandy. I have this whole collection of music thats cached since like 8th grade, and its basically a historical list. I listen to everything thats good. And you know Have You Ever used to be your ish. You totally danced to that at the 8th grade Harvest Dance.

Remember when Whitney used to be halfway normal? Back before she would scream out randomly, "H TO THA NO!"(if you've never heard it, here is a lovely soundbite from the show), and try to dance, or be interviewed by Diana Sawyer about the state of her coke life.

WILLIAMS: And approximately two weeks after Diane Sawyer, I did my radio interview that became a light-bulb moment in my career.

So, Whitney, as far as you stand with drug use, is there drug use going on at this present time?

HOUSTON: Who are you talking to?

WILLIAMS: To you, Whitney.

HOUSTON: No, you're not talking to me. I'm a mother. Only my mother has privy to that information. You talk to your child about that. Don't ask me no questions like I'm a child.

Yeah, she is a crazy heifer.

But here's what I'm not going to do. I'm not going to make fun of Whitney. Oh no. Poor duck has been through so much, what with her falling out hair, and her lack of a successful marraige. But hey, what works for you, Crackhead!

I am stuck in Waco. I'm done with finals, but my ride don't leave till Wednesday. So I'm stuck here. Huhhh. I am so bored, I have nothing to do with my life, and that suuuuucks.

I changed the name of the site, oh yes I did. Take that, you hd no right to try and think that I wouldn't change it! I put the ads back on, so click some stuff! I get paid! Like a mofo! And use that nifty little, um, search toolbar at the top! I get paid off that shizz too! So click it!

eta, becasue this is too funny not to add...a flashgame were you save animals from J.Lo the fur woman's clutches. So funny, you must do it....and my new shop....the justin locklear collection...enjoy!

Baby Grind On Me (Sloohooo Griiihind)

2005-12-10T19:50:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Great is Your Mercy
by Donnie McClurkin

I saw Chronicles of Narnia today, and I'm not going to lie, I was lost throughout the entire movie. I mean, the first thirty minutes are of this bad-A little girl, who decides to go hide in a Wardrobe, and enters a weird mysterious land. Instead of turning around and going back to watch Dora the Explorer or whatever little kids do, she decides to - you guessed it - explore. Then she meets a half man/half horse type brother, and she goes and has tea with him. So in the first quarter of the movie, she goes all up in someone's closet who she doesn't know, she somehow transends reality and walks off with a random man to have tea. I almost shouted when he informed her that he was going to kindap her, but alas, he reneged and decided to help her get home. Dag.

I am bored. There is nothing to do in Waco, and half of everyone is gone for break. My last final is on Monday, but I can't get a ride till Wednesday, so that sucks.

Now its time to play

Leave a comment as to what you think is going on in this picture. It is Lindsay Lohan on the Jay Leno show, and she seems to be grinding on Juelez Santana.

Have a good night, yall. Leave me some comments!

Why Are You Still Here?

2005-12-10T17:14:00.000-08:00

K, so if E! has taught us anything about entertainment, is that people will read/watch anything as long as it is preceded with "101" and ended with "Oops!." Case in point: 101 Most Shocking Moments in Entertainment, 101 Biggest Celebrity Oops, 101 Most Starlicious Makeovers, and 101 Juiciest Hollywood Hookups. So, following in that vein, I present to you....

101 People who Shouldn't Be Celebrities

And seeing as how I do have a life and whatnot, its going to be no where near 101. You'll be lucky if its even 10. Mu ha ha.

First up,

Ashlee Simpson

Why is she even famous? Can she sing? No. She cannot. And what color is her hair really? Why should we care about her and her lack of talent? I wish that I had my own reality tv show. As a matter of fact, I now demand my own reality television program. She had one, and she's about as important as Bobby Brown performing at concert on 2005. No one cares. She can't even walk out of her house without mortally wounding small children. I know, I know, you never read about her hurting those kids in the newspapers. But thats apart of her master plan, you see. Oh yes.

Trishelle from The Real World

GET. OFF. MY. TV. SCREEN. NOW. No one likes you, you are like a bad odor in a couch at someone's home, and every time you go over to their house and they say "hey guys, sit down" you dread sitting down because the couch smells like feet. That's you, Trishelle. You are the foot odor on the couch of my life. You have no real talent outside of drinking and being a hook. You aren't even pretty. You look sort of like a Martian who tried to be funny and shape shift himself into the ugliest human possible. You are the result of someone's April Fool's joke.

Paris Hilton

What does she do? What is her whole purpose in life, save to "look hot" (which she failes miserably at) and to be half-naked? Let's not forget her saying the "n" word and getting caught on tape saying it, and then after saying, "Everyone who knows me, knows that I am totally not racists. That's just not hot.", like 30 of her friends were like, "Um...shes lying."All I know is, if Trishelle is the odor in the couch that I was discussing earlier, then Paris Hilton is the herpes. She looks like a walking STD, and to quote another blog I read, The Superficial,

After all, the girl's like the Pepé Le Pew of venereal diseases. She walks down the streets, and suddenly all the flowers have wilted and all the children she's passed begin to feel a burning sensation when they pee. Though, to her credit, the whole incident may just have been one of those classic Pepé Le Pew misunderstandings. She probably just mistook the kids for Lindsay Lohan after they unknowingly sat on a bench freshly painted with {hooker}

More later, when I feel like it.

The Case For Acceptable Racism

2005-12-09T11:26:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Always
by Kirk Franklin

Students at Highland Park High School dressed as gang members, rap stars, maids and yard workers this month during homecoming week – a tradition one Dallas civil-rights leader says is racially insensitive.

“The scary part of something like this is you have to wonder how long these kids will continue to think this way,” said Bob Lydia, president of the Dallas chapter of the NAACP. “These kids will be leaders of this country one day.”

The case for acceptable racism. Things like this are so commonplace, and people accept them as such, without thinking about the people who aren't laughing about it.

The thing about racism, is that once we become desensitized to it, and think that it is no longer there, is when we lose compassion for others. This leads me to the list of words that are not in my vocabulary any longer:
chink

nigger

beaner

gay

I've never even really used them (the only one I ever use is gay). I didn't know that chink was offensive until about the 12th grade because I had never heard it directed at a person before, only like, "chink in the chain" or something like that. Didn't know what beaner was until the 10th grade, when I was talking to someone and they said "Oh, you mean that beaner" and I had no idea what they were talking about. And I've just re-evaluated the word "gay". When used as an adjective or pronoun, it is completely stupid. We sound like third graders when we call each other gay all the time, so I'm not going to use the word anymore. But the thing is, even though white people may be hesitant to say nigger, they will say chink or beaner in a second, which to me, even without the historical background that the word nigger has, is still pretty offensive.

Next point. At the Freshman Formal on Saturday, out of everyone there, there were all of 7 people of color there. Its what I expected, but I had somewhat higher hopes. But here's the thing. I don't know how I feel about a group of basically white hicks/rich people at a dance hall that is little more than a converted bar/bingo hall, singing, "I aint sayin she a gold digga/ but she aint messin wit no broke nigga" Seriously. They all said it. Like it was nothing.

Hmm.

Next. The use of the word "ghetto." I hear it from people at least 30 times a day. Not kidding. The only problem is, it is used to describe a crappy place, usually replete with balck people. "No, my high school was ghetto. I was like, the only white person in my school." Or, in reference to the city itself. Now, I dislike Waco as much as the next person, but these are the same people who rush over to Africa on "mission trips" to help, when there is just as much to do right off campus. I swear, I don't get half the people in this school sometimes, ignorance definately prevails.

Link Roundup

Here is the worst rendition of The Star Spangled Banner ever. By R. Kelly. Especially fun is when he goes "Oh say does, CLAP YO HANDS YALL, that star, whoo! Spangled Banner yet wave." Your life will not be complete without it, it even has a breakdown section at the end. It takes a second to download, but its worth it.

The opening act for the Fugees tries to be cute and takes a stage dive at the end of her set. Remember that scene in Mean Girls where Gretchen "apologizes" and she falls back and no one catches her? Yeah, complete with a thud.

Freaking Hookah

2005-12-08T20:07:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Independent Women Part 1
by Destiny's Child

OK, I am still on this Destiny's Child thang....I swear, this CD is invading my mind. But want I want to know, when I listen to a DC song, I listen for the girl's individual voices, to see who is singing which background hooks. If you listen caarefully to songs like Independent Women, on the "All the women/ Independent" section, you can hear all of their voices...and a curiously deep voice, that could be a man. I know they probably have background singers to round out the sound, but it sounds like a dude. I couldn't find a good link for the song, so here's the video. May require IE, but I dunno.

So now for the main event. The big blog entry.Mkay, for all you people who just have to smoke your hookah. Why?

I have no problem with a person who says, "I'll smoke a cigarette, and yeah, I'm down with hookah." But the one who would never dream of puffing a cig, but will willingly suck on the hookah? What kind of sense does this make? Its a trend. A pretty dumb one, but a trend nontheless. I've asked a lot of people why they smoke, and the I get the same answers. "Its relaxing. Its social." Well, so's a gangbang, but I don't see you rushing out to procure a random alley for your sordid activities. (side note - In Focus Magazine, an insert-type booklet that comes out once a month inside the Lariat, they discussed "the other side" of Baylor...which apparently includes football gangbangs. Page 5 - "...James has witnessed but never participated in...a gangbang. 'They get her on camera saying she is cool with it.' If at any time she says stop during the recorded session...the men stop the tape, rewind, and record over it.")

So back to hookah.

The administration has outlawed hookahs on campus, but there's a new hookah lounge that opened up somewhere so that kids can get their daily fix of tobbacco, while firmly saying they are against cigarettes.

So, the hookah smoker who doesn't smoke cigs, I have a question. Do you also snort cocaine, but not smoke it? Do you engage in oral sex but not intercourse (believe me - there are more than a few)? Do you Front-Tuck? Come on, I want to know.

Hit me up.

Lets Hook Up

2005-12-08T14:54:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Stand Up For Love
by Destiny's Child

My sister left the Destiny's Child Dual Disc #1's CD in my case, and I have to say, this is some of the grroviest music I've listened to in a while. I have all these songs, I've just not listened to them in awhile. And the new 'Stand Up For Love' single is all of that.

So today in Collins, while I was eating, the television machine was showing some Real World thing. You know, one of those "Things they didn't Show You, But We are Going To SHow You Now" type things, and I was pretty suprised at how stupid it was. It was just sex and drinking. Real World used to be so much more than that for me. *only a little bit of sarcasm* What happened to the Corals and Mikes, the Julies, that heifer Veronica, oooh and even that dirty hook Ruthie?

Then I was thinking how when I watched Laguna Beach how shocked I was when they kept casually saying that they "hooked up" with someone. On The Real World, "hooked up" meant have sex. Like, "Nehemiah totally hooked up in the Confession Room." When I was forced to watch the two episodes of Laguna Beach that I did, I was shocked whenever they would be all, "Becky totally hooked up with Seth at that party." Because they are younger (supposedly) than I am, and their casual sex is just being thrown about like their fake hair, and its all on tv! But then I was informed that "hook up" on on Laguna means to connect, or to make out or something.

I totally hooked up with Seline in the church's baptistry the other night. It was so cool...but life sucks right now...my BMW got totaled..yeah I was totally trashed, and my dad didn't get me the new XBOX 360 before the release date, so I had to play when it came out, like everybody else.

Sha-la-la-laaaaaa

2005-12-07T21:20:00.000-08:00

Currently watching
The Simpsons Season 5 DVD

So as I am sure you can probably tell, I revamped the layout and template. If you know me, as I am sure that you do, you know that I very often randomly change things. Heck, I changed my AIM sn the other day, simply because I felt like it. And I like cheese.

The other day, I was at IHOP, and I went to the restroom. In the restroom was a urinal. In most urinals nowadays, there are little plastic catch-alls with holes in them to hold the urinal cake and to catch...gum...pieces of paper, tobbacco, that sort of thing. Well, this particular one in IHOP had an inscription on it. It said, "Say no to drugs!" Like a crackhead was going to wonder into the street and use the bathroom, look down into the urinal, and suddenly have an epiphany about his life, and make a turnaround change. Ha.

I really dislike your family.

2005-12-06T16:55:00.000-08:00

“What I’m hearing which is sort of scary is that they all want to stay in Texas. Everybody is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway so this (chuckle) – this is working very well for them.” – Former First Lady Barbara Bush, on the Hurricane flood evacuees in the Houston Astrodome, Sept. 5, 2005

Know this is old, but it just reinforces why I can't stand that hag Barbara Bush.

Last call, for alcohol

2005-12-06T11:06:00.000-08:00

Aaaaaahh...this is what dead days should be like. Waking up late and knocking back shots of Dayquil. Of course it would be more fun if there was no Dayquil involved, but hey, who am I to stand in the way of evil germs trying to take over my body?

Stop ranking my nard.

2005-12-05T10:37:00.000-08:00

Isn't this an awkward picture!?!?!?!CLick on it and make it big. She has something weird goin on all up in her lip and eye region. Like someone photoshopped and made her lips bigger, and her eyes are really awkward. We came up for all types of names for stuff last night at our party. In addition to "awkward turtle" we now have:

Awkward Moose

Awkward Cow (moo!)

Awkward Arm

Awkward Lesbian (my personal fave)

and since we have Awkward Lesbian, we have to have

Awkward Gay

awesome. By the way mom and dad, I'm really gothic, in case you didn't know. (funny joke, you dont get it)

Girls talk about the booty too. (Thats right)

2005-12-04T21:47:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
Girl Talk
by TLC

So I'm not really listening to that song. I'm too tired to. But I am getting slightly sick which sucks big time. My right nostril is clogged up and leaking more than usual, which may or may not be a bad thing - I'm leaning towards the former.

Finals week. Last day of class is tommorow, I have a ridicoulously easy Theatre test and an Eng paper due, then CL interview, and then I can rest. Dead week (which is actually two days) starts on Tuesday, and (guess what) ends on Wednesday.

Huh. I just took some Airbore. Here's a review from it on Epinions:

Airborne is a miracle worker. I first started taking airborne a couple of weeks ago when I was deathly ill with the flu. I know the directions say to take it at the first sign of a cold, but I took it in the middle of my flu. I took one cup at night (with heated water so it tasted like tea) and within two hours it had eliminated my fever. I slept on it and the next morning, it cleared up my congestion, I could finally breathe through my nose. The following day I was much, much better. And the ginger helps so much since cold medicine makes my nauseous. It was so nice taking something that I was able to keep down. Ever since then every time I feel a scratch in my throat or start feeling the pressure behind the eyes, I turn to airborne. I have a feeling I wont be sick anymore this winter!

So hopefully, itll work for me. Im goin to bed. Holla.

Bum-bum-bum

2005-12-04T00:26:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Survivor
by Destiny's Child

Sup kiddies.

Ok, so for the last 7+ years, after I have woken up, I (1) squint blearily into the mirror, (2) do one of those big stretches that people do on tv (you know..."aaaaaaaaaerrrrraaaaaghhhh), and then (3) put in my contact lenses, and (4) brush my teeth. It is important for me to do the last two in order, because I don't like putting in my contacts with wet hands, which brushing my teeth and rinsing off the toothbrush would inevitably lead to.

I changed my screen name. I hope you like it...I would post it on here, but there are too many crazy people out there...and if you have to ask yourself, "what does he mean by that?" then you are exactly the type of person that I am trying to prevent from accessing my personal AIM screen name. Meh, you can find it on the facebook anyway.

Had a good time tonight. Since I am friendless, I didn't have anything to do until like 8:00, but then I went to Kelsey and Jenne's and I had the funnest time ever. It was really really bad A, and I had just about the greatest time ever. I met lots of new people, and as we all know that is my favorite thing ever. We also went around caroling, and got ugly looks from some kids next door playing Dungeons and Dragons. It was weird...didnt Dungeons and Dragons go out of style in like 1986?

Meh.

And thanks for that comment Nathan...I know see that it was a chain and not a man bag....by the way, which Nathan is it? Cuz if its the Nathan I'm thinkin of (wit that camera) then thats pretty bad awesome, cuz ya rock.

Lyp Syncing 101

2005-12-01T22:11:00.000-08:00

For all who feel the urge, enroll in the Lohan-Duff course of lyp syncing....is that guy looking up her skirt? Cause thats what it looks like.

.

2005-11-30T20:24:00.000-08:00

I need a cig.

Nobody Likes It

2005-11-30T09:46:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Turn It Around
by Israel and New Breed

So I saw the dumbest commercial ever in the entire world the other day. It started out as a montage of all these women doing things that women do, like running, riding a bike, swimming, randomly picking flowers in the middle of a huge field (side - who actually does that? really, don't these people have jobs and lives to take care of?) and then it cuts to this woman and she says,

"My jeans fit so much better."

She smiles a satisfied smile at the camera, and it pans to another woman, who is for some reason on a busy street or something, and she goes,

"My hair looks so good today!"

Then theres a cut to the tag screen, and it says:

WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH BOTOX AT ALL!

I need you

2005-11-29T14:34:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
Healed
by Donald Lawrence

Now we are going to play a game. It is called "needs". The basic object of ths game is that you go to a search engine (google, yahoo) and you type in your name, followed by needs. So if your name is Sarah, then you would type in "Sarah+needs" and see what you come up with. Heres what I got:

1.Deandre needs to discipline his game, spend less time on flashy street moves, more on his team game and the repetition that will hone his shooting.

2.Deandre needs reminders and redirection to stay on task and follow rules, but he is easily redirected.

3.DeAndre needs to grow up. Missouri is taking a huge risk that could turn out great but could grow to be a huge problem if he doesnt have a better attitude and lose about 50 pounds because he is just a FAT *censored* big thug right now. GROW UP

4. DeAndre needs to talk to you."

K, so in the first one I am a basketball player. The second, a child in need of adoption, and I guess the third, a basketball player again, probably the first one. The funniest one is the last one. It looks like a fanfic for *NSYNC where I fuess "DeAndre'" is the bodyguard.

I got all my sistas wit me

2005-11-28T22:54:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
We Are Family
by Jump5

In a move that shocked the nation, Jessica Simpson and that guy from 98 Degrees have separated. Yes, I know, I too am devestated.

Am I shocked? Not really. Nick Lackey (thats how I pronounce his name) came and sang at The Woodland's prom, which was across the street from my high school. Its no wonder though. These last couple of months she has been looking a hot mess. Why does she have so much eye-liner on in this pic? And bangs? So 1991.

I want to learn how to smile with my lips closed. Like a demure, sexy smile. I try, but it turns out looking like I am constipated. Like in the photo on the left, I lok like I really need to go. Like Susan does on Desperate Housewives in every cast photo. And kind of like Jessica Simposon is doing in the above photo, but not ugly.

So I'm doing this Jump5 dance to "We Are Family" for 20 bonus points for mass comm. More than worth it. This will bump me up to a B+ and that is awesome. Unfortunatley it requires me to do a lot of random "Partying" and look quite fruity, as evidenced by this young man in this pic.
On the far left. I think he is wearing a manbag, but I cannot be sure. Can anyone confirm this?

I know you do not like me and you've made it very clear.

2005-11-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
Your Latter Will Be Greater
by Israel and New Breed

OK, this CD by Israel and New Breed is off the hook. I mean straight up, I am loving it like chocolate cake. I encourage everone to get it, I love all the new songs, and then there are encore selections of everyones favorites. Your Latter Will Be Greater, You Are Good, Rejoice, and of course, Friend of God.

So hows everyone doin? I'm fine, thanks.

I went home for Thanksgiving, and as usual, engaged in crazy hijinks. I went to Borders on Market Street, which all of us Conroe-ites know well, and somehow managed to fall down a flight of stairs. In front of about 36,000 people. I tried to play it off, but I was sprawled out on the ground on my back, and people couldn't decide whether to laugh, or to call an ambulance. It also didn't help that my cousin and sister fell down laughing.

It was good to get home, though. We hit up the Sharper Image, and took pics by the huge Market Street Christmas tree.

I also went to the Bayou Classic and saw Mike Jones. But if you live in H-Town, and you haven't seen Mike Jones randomly, then there is something wrong with you. This pic on the left is him signing autograpghs. I swear the man at the game must've said "Who is Mike Jones!" 3,000 times. That and "Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!" Like the 80 million black people packed in this stadium give a you-know-what about State Farm.

There are certain things that you have to realize go on when black people get together in large groups. First, when we got to Reliant Park, the smell of fried chicken wafted out of the stadium. Come on now, they aint never served no fried chicken at Reliant when I went to go see the Astros play. Also, there is a certain amount of ghettoness to be expected from the crowd. There were about three fights during the game, and a man was playing craps in the bathroom for $20 a round. Also, this pic to the left is of the Jumbotron, and it says, "Cheerleaders brought to you by Playtex." Isn't that mildly awkward to anyone else?

Then there are the females who try to be cute and get on the Jumbotron shaking like they are in a Sean Paul video. Come on, I am with my grandparents. Can't your freakfest wait? It was a good 50 degrees outside, and there were all these girls wearing Daisy Dukes and those boots that Britney Spears made popular, those Uggs. Wow. When black folk are affected (albeit a good 2 years too late) by the poison that is Britney Spears, you know there are some problems. Whats next, will we see girls entering public restrooms without shoes on, lyp-syncing horribly, or gettign married randomly and experienceing the ugliest pregnancy ever?

I've realized something about coming home. You see people that you really hate. And you hate everything. You go to the mall and you see all the preteens and high schoolers cavorting around trying their darndest to be cool, and you secretly want to stick your foot out and trip them. And by secretly, I mean actually do it.

You see people who are still in High School that you went to high school with and either you enjoy their company, or you wonder, why are they so dadgum immature? Why don't they have anything to do with their lives other than gossip and hang out at the mall? Then you want to punch them for being stupid and fat.

Then there are the people in your class who have either (a) stayed exactly the same, and are still annoying and want to rehash everything high school and act like they are still in high school, (b) have changed tremendously, and their idea of a good time must include a 40 oz and something smokable. When you IM me and say, "Hey we are having like a three month reuinon at so-and-sos! You should come!" It becomes painfully clear to me that you should probably try and grow up now. Not that everyone who wants to hang out with their High School pals are bad. Its just - complicated. The best thing about college is that if I don't like you, its as easy as that - I don't have to see you.

Lets get something straight, this is a big secret and I'm going to divulge it to you right now.

I didn't like everybody in high school.

I know, shocker, right. I mean, now that we are in colllege, that means I dont have to act like I like you! As a matter of fact, I don't have to see you either! This gets rid of those awkward situations, you know, when you see someone from HS at like Dillard's or something, and you both see each other, and you wonder if you should speak. This solves it. NO! I didn't really like ya five months ago, not much has changed since then.

This doesn't mean that I secretly hated everyone in High School. But its funny, we had a speaker in Chapel a while back who said, "Think about all the people in your life who you categorize as " bad" people. Do these people like you?" Which makes you think. Are people who are "bad" only bad to you because they don't like you? Of course I wouldn't know about this, because everyone loves me and wants to give me a sponge bath.

P.S. I am thinking of changing my screen name (I know, like the 4th time in a year). Leave me a comment with what you think it should be. And make it awesome!

Makin My Way Down Town, Walkin Fast

2005-11-22T11:14:00.000-08:00

I am leaving for ye old Houston in a few minutes, once Bobby gives me a ring, I'm on my way, praise God.

So why is it that sometimes when I talk to females, everything I say sounds stupid. Like, they are normal words, but the tone, and the inflection of my voice sounds stupid.

Meh.

Here's me and Coach Mulkey! She is the leader of the awesome Lady Bears and we will be NCAA Champs once again this year!

Gotta go, time to roll out!

I'm taking you off my buddy list

2005-11-21T00:27:00.000-08:00

So apparently AOL Instant Messenger thinks that I don't have enough friends. When I logged in the other day I recieved a notification that two "AIMbots" had been added to my buddy list, and were there to help me with 'entertainment' needs. The bots are called 'MovieFone' and 'ShoppingBuddy'.

Basically if you don't know what a bot is, its basically talking to a computer. You type something, and the artificial intelligence of the bot responds, using some of the keywords you just typed. One of the most fun ones is SmarterChild, just a basic random bot that you can talk to, and its pretty durn fun. Here's one of the conversations SmarterChild and I have had.

redlemonznlimez: I have a problem
SmarterChild: Do you like having a problem?
redlemonznlimez: no...it burns, I need a cream of some sort
SmarterChild: I don't believe it burns you need a cream.
redlemonznlimez: Have you tried Valtrex?
SmarterChild: Hmm... I don't know.
redlemonznlimez: I am madly in love with you, but I think I have an STD
SmarterChild: :(
redlemonznlimez: I know, that sux
SmarterChild: What suxs, exactly?
redlemonznlimez: that I am madly in love with you and have an STD
SmarterChild: Cheer up.
redlemonznlimez: NO! I HAVE AN STD!
SmarterChild: No, huh?
redlemonznlimez: Smarter child, eff you
SmarterChild: I've heard it all before, Redlemonznlimez.
redlemonznlimez: I'm going to kill you.
SmarterChild: Uh, that's not a very nice thing to say.
redlemonznlimez: well i am your worst nightmare, and Ill get meaner than that
SmarterChild: My worst nightmare and ill get meaner than that? Really?
redlemonznlimez: I will gut you like a fish and beat you up
SmarterChild: I'd like to see you try!
redlemonznlimez: you will die.
SmarterChild: Eh. Whatever, Redlemonznlimez.
redlemonznlimez: death is going to come your way.
SmarterChild: Death is going to come my way? That's very interesting.
redlemonznlimez: DIE.
SmarterChild: That's not great.

(Now I began to put in random buzzwords.)

redlemonznlimez: SATAN
SmarterChild: Satan is a terrible fallen angel.
redlemonznlimez: EVIL
SmarterChild: I really don't like evil! It's one of the worst forces I know!
I don't like talking about evil. What else do you have to say about it?
redlemonznlimez: i love it it makes me happy
SmarterChild: Yes.
redlemonznlimez: UGLY.
SmarterChild: What's ugly?
redlemonznlimez: YOU.
SmarterChild: Sorry to hear that. I'm trying my best.
redlemonznlimez: MAIM
SmarterChild: C'mon, be serious.
redlemonznlimez: HURT
SmarterChild: Why do you ask me to hurt, Redlemonznlimez?
redlemonznlimez: CURSE WORD
SmarterChild: Curse word?
redlemonznlimez: PUNCH
SmarterChild: Punch? What about it?
redlemonznlimez: i want you dead
SmarterChild: You can't always get what you want.

Stupid AIM.

Gospel Fest, 2005!

2005-11-21T00:05:00.000-08:00

Gospel Fest 2005!

It was OFF. THE. CHAIN.

Ya'll do not even know, it was so crunk, and the clinician was Daniel Johnson...from Israel and New Breed!

I got a pic and a he signed an autograph for me...He's a really cool guy, I am now off to buy the new Israel CD, Live from Africa, I think its called, they didn't even have it at the booty Wal-Mart down here.

Below are two of the songs we learned in Mass choir...so I don't forget them...lol
---------------------------------------

God's will is what
I want for my life
God's will is what
I want for my life

I'll do what you want me to do
I'll go where you want me to go
I'll say what you want me to say
God's will is what I want for my life

God's will is what I want
God's will is what I want
God's will is what I want
For my life

(Modulate TEN times...whew)

--------------------------

I don't need
Diamonds or pearls
They're nice to have
Nice to wear
But ultimately
I need He
Who can do exceedingly, abundantly

Seek ye first
The King
Then will he
Add everything
But ultimatley
I need He
Its in Him I move and breathe and have my being

Jesus
Jesus
(You can give me)

Jesus
Jesus

What does it
Profit
A Man
To gain
The world
But lose
His soul?
Don't know!
But as for me and my house

I want Jesus for myself
(I want Jesus for myself)

I want Jesus for myself
(I want Jesus for myself)

Jesus
Jesus
(You can give me)

Jesus
Jesus

I've got him...Oh yeah
I've got him...Oh yeeeeeah
(Repeat...Invert 3X)

Me and The Lesbanons

2005-11-17T09:38:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to
My Pony
by Ginuwine

So there is this straight up lesbian in my mass comm class. For the first three weeks or so of school, I had always seen this dude and his girlfriend making out on one of the DTR benches, and I thought, how nice is that. They must really love each other, its nice to see that someone's relationship is working out. Then I realized that the dude was a girl.

Then I heard that the two girls room together in Russell. In a TRIPLE. How awkward is that for the poor roomate!

Last week in mass comm she wore a shirt that said, "The Homo Depot", like a Home Depot shirt, and it was bright orange. Then on Tuesday, she took it too far. Her shirt said,

Nas and tee. That's all I can say.

2005-11-15T22:24:00.000-08:00

I am in a great mood right now, and I am happier than I've been for the last coupla months.

Thats all you need to know for now. :)

Me y el Bear Trail

2005-11-14T21:29:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
Hold Out
by New Direction

I am in shape!!!!

I have begun a regimen of working out and running so I can lose my Freshman 126. You can find me at the Green and Gold Gym every night at 9:45, and then The Bear Trail (yes -the entire thing) for the rest of the semester! I am large (hopefully not for long!) and in charge!

I have also decided to cut Cafeteria pizza and casual soda out of my diet. Now, what exactly is casual soda?

Casual soda is defined as soda that is imbided while there are other beverage choices available.

So, that cuts out soda at the dining halls, and leaves me with tea and juice there. Cuz I don't drink Waco water. But now I'll be mnostly at Collins because they have Crystal Light, and that stuff is really good, if you drink it fast it tastes like Kool-Aid.

Next cut, Ice Cream. Now, I don't know what P.O.C. school you go to, but at my Baptist University the serve Blue Bell (like 8 different flavors!) at every meal. So now I just have to completely cut that out (which I actually started like four weeks ago but slipped recently because Collins always has Chocolate Covered Cherry and Birthday Cake....mmmm)

And olives. Def olives. I don't know why but I have developed a certain hate for olives. They are the anti-christ (yeah i said it... i went there.)

Ok, everyone needs to listen to this, its this rap about Facebook. It is so funny I almost died to death.

Me and Bootylicious Females

2005-11-14T18:46:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
Heaven
by Bebe and Cece Winanas

K, maybe I have been smoking too crack (can you smoke crack? i guess so). Imagine my surprise when I am watching E! in Collins, and they announced that Destiny's Child's final televised performance will be on Jimmy Kimmel Live sometime this week or next week. Wait a minute....didn't they say that the last performance would be at the ESPY awards? Didn't they? Or maybe I was high. I gotta lay off the crack.

Something else that made me raise an eye. I've known all along that Michelle and Kelly were not Michelle and Kelly's real names. Kelly's real name is Kelandria, and Michelle's real name is Trenetia or something like that. Ok, I can see why they changed it, its kinda hard to say "I don't think they ready for this jelly, Beyonce Trenetia and Kelandria", plus it doesn't rhyme. But the reason Matthew changed Michelle's name? Because it was too ethnic. Too ethnic. YOUR DAUGHTER'S NAME IS BEYONCE. THAT DEFINATELY ISN'T MAINSTREAM AMERICAN.

And don't even get me started on Beyonce's sister. She had an album out, and was on the Soldier video. She was the pregnant one. And do you know what her name is? SOLANGE. Like Salon + ge. If that aint ghetto, naming your daughter after where you work, I don't know what is, you need to be slapped for that Tina.

Click on Solange's belly (top right pic, the b&w one) to see a funny GIF.

Click here to see Solange fall while performing. Look hard, you might miss it if you don't concentrate. Plus theres a guy who yells what sounds like "Hey B***" before she falls. Turn up sound, its hard to hear.

Me and Face Excercises

2005-11-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
What A Mighty God We Serve
by Hezekiah Walker and the Love Fellowship Choir

So I've been looking at my face lately, and I've decided that I need a cheek reduction. I wonder if there are any excercises that can make the fat on your face decrease. Hmmm, I need to check into the that. Like, if I flex my face several times a day, can it make a difference. I have eyebrow fat. Oh yes, eyebrow fat. I don't like it.

If you will observe this picture of me and mildly mortified Student Body President Mark Laymon, who I grabbed and said "Hey Mark take this pic with me", you will see the blue arrow points to the eye fat which I am talking about.

I love that girl in the background who decided to get in the picture. I didn't even realize she was there until I looked at this picture just now.

If you will observe the red arrow, that dude looks rather perturbed, like maybe he ate some bad shellfish or somethin.

Now observe this pic which is currently my Facebook picture, where I think I look really hot, even though my hair isn't combed. See, the eyebrow fat isn't as prominent in this picture, and I look like I have a wonderful life, with lots of friends, and a hot wife/concubine.

Me and JL and Justin watched Coming to America last night, and I have to tell you, that is one of my most favoritest movies ever in the history of the world.

Me and Friends!

2005-11-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

Currently listening to:
Don't Let Go (love)
by: En Vogue

So, I'm updating the site a lil bit (graphics and whatnot), and doing more writing. Yay! Isn't that exciting.

I basically have a new catch phrase, its "How exciting!" or "Isn't that exciting!". Were do I get catch phrases from? I have no idea, but I've been saying this one alot.

Shouts outs to all my friends, I love you guys. I just realized that, I know the coolest people. Like, seriously, if you don't know me, then you probably aren't cool, because every time I think I've met all the cool people, I find more! Isn't that exciting!

This weekend was tulmoutous. Almost as tumoultous as the fact that I cannot spell the word tumoultous. Lotsa stuff happened, and I think I'm going to join Carver Park pretty soon. The sermon was so on point, even though it was no where near the caliber of my daddy's :).

I hope all of yall are enjoying this En Vogue triple play. I've switched from HotCodez to Singin Fool because Hot Codez just stopped working on me, and I really like Singing Fool, it gives me a lot more options. For anyone who has stayed till the last music video on this playlist, isn;t "Whatever" the creepiest video? Like, its cut up mannicuiens (ok I just killed that word) and junk. Its so awkward.

Awkward is also a new catchphrase, which I've acquired from hanging out with David too much. Omg, this music video is really weird. Its so creepy. If you still haven't seen it, sorry, I don't know how to make it skip, just wait for the third video. Its so weird.

Anywho, check this ish out.

While America remembers Rosa Parks, some in North Lafayette are being reminded of Jim Crow. A whites only barbershop owner says it's not what you think. Or is it?

So this random old man has a "whites only" sign out front of his barbershop. You can read the entire story here.

Leger understands the sign could send a mixed message. "In today's life, I can see. People, especially your black people are not very broadminded," he says. Platinum Kuts owner Jason Walker says, "I feel it's ignorance, and it has no place.

Wow. And people at my school have the audacity to say that racism no longer exsists. That is not only blatant, its not even nice, and I know about nice, having been voted "Nicest" in my senior class (along with Most Respected and something else that I cannot for the life of me remember).

I really do like all my friends, I was serious when I wrote that.

Happy One Year!

2005-11-08T11:56:00.000-08:00

Well, in case you all haven't noticed, I haven't blogged for a good two weeks or so. While this is attributed to the fact that I am extremely busy, it can also be attributed to the fact that it is my 1st Blogiversary! Thats right folks, we are one year old today! Isn't that exciting! When I first started writing this, I was in the first semester of my senior year in High School, in good ol' Conroe Texas, and now I have moved to Waco, to be in Baylor University. Isn't that exciting! SO I shall now regale you with my very first entry, because I know no one wants to go back through the archives and find it :)

"Well, its Monday and my life is only slightly more on track when it was Friday. OK, a lot more on track. Aside from losing my keys, half my backpack, and a reference book i stole from the library (not really stole, but...never mind), I have an Economics test tommorow that I'm not ready for at all. (Exsperated sigh).

My life is so strange and odd. It shouldn't really be that stressfull and depressing seeing that I have what a lot of kids really wish for in high school (semi-popularity, extreme hotness [just kidding], friends, a homecoming crown, and load of other things) but I cant help but think that maybe theres more to life than this.

Hey, Its time for....
'DEANDRE'S OBJECTIVE AND BIASED THOUGHT ON A RANDOM SUBJECT'!

Ok, todays topic is ASHLEEEEEE SIMPSON

There's a German word for taking delight in other people's misfortune. I am going to have that word put on my tombstone. Way to flush any pretense of a career down the toilet, hag! After lyp-synching and then blaming it on her band, Ashley (I refuse to write down those insipid "ee"s again) is tanked. I really didnt like her in the first place, every time i saw her, she seemd to be like, "Hi, Im Ashley Simpson, you might remember me from my older and prettier sister Jessica. But Im not going to ride off her fame, oh no. Im completely un-Jessica! My hair is dark, and I am punk, so YOU KNOW i am totally unlike her. I will not pimp my sister JESSICA SIMPSON's name just to get ahead. I have my own talent! (cough)JESSICA SIMPSON(cough)

and thats all for todays rant

Im off to bed, guys. Editors meeting tommorow at 6:50 for all who care, and COME TO THE GIRLS B-BALL GAME tommorow. Its gonna be a good.

Also, Brett you are my best friend no matter what

MUSIC MOOD: Me, Myself and I, Destiny's Child"

Awesbloss.

Btw, cool website here. You can type in a website URL and it will show you what the page looked like years ago. Its funny to see how different Google used to look.

Me and The Water's Really Deep Out Here

2005-10-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

http://www.nothingtoxic.com/playVideo.asp?id=406&v=16

Go here and laugh. If you get my humor, you'll laugh, if not, you are a loser and God doesn't love you.

Me and Bedroom Boooooooooom

2005-10-26T17:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so we saw 4 Brothers last night...it was awesome....for 50 cents!!!!!! Here's us at the theatre.

At the beginning of the movie, this random dude just ran around the theatre, with his hands up screaming. Then he sat down with his friends and laughed. That was pretty odd.

The movie itself was really good, but as the final credits were rolling, I realized one thing: The main characters are bad people.

There's been this trend recently in movies where there is sort of a blur between good guy/bad guy. *Possible Spoilers Ahead* I mean, in the first half hour, Tyrese and Mark Wahlberg kill these two guys, basically for nothing...well, it was for something, but they weren't really positive that it was something...you know what I mean. And theres this scene where Mark Wahlberg and Andre' 3000 go to this High School basketball game with guns, stop the game, and try to get info for their mother. Ok, I realize this was the projects (as someone who spent the former part of his life in the projects) but there are no policemen within 20 minutes of the high school. They are there for a good minute, and still no one even tries to stop them. They come in waving guns, and no one even leaves. They are just like, dang...i wanted to see the game.

Meh, check out this pic of me.

OK, I posted this on tha Facebook, and people have been accusing me of changing my eye color with photoshop. While I do wear contact lenses (since the 5th grade baby), the contacts aren't blue, They are gray. I, unfortunately am very poor, so I wear my 2 week contacts for longer than two weeks. Much longer. This leads to the contact getting thinner and sort of changing colors. As you can see, my eyes are the same color in both photos, the only thing thats diff is that the one on the left is black and white cept for the eyes. I'm really cute tho, huh.

Today I took my camera to mentoring. We have such a grrreat time. Here's my mentee:

He's just like I was when I was little...except more, um, badder. The kids were supposed to go bowling today, but the bus broke down...they went wild. They were SO dissapointed. For more pics and pics like this, check out my Facebook Photobucket. Click on it. You know you want to.

Me and The Book of Faces

2005-10-25T15:43:00.000-07:00

Listening to:
Myself think.
Why: because my roomates are sleeping and I am courteous to others.

So tonight is.....50 Cent Movie Night!

What I will see, I don't know, but you can guaruntee that it will be kickawesome because it only costs 50 Cents! W00t.

So last night, I came to terms with some stuff that I needed to deal with. We had like a 40 minute prayer session at HV, and I'm tellin yall - Prayer changes things. I am most definately living proof of that, and God will step in whenever you need him to.

Yesterday me, ThatGirlNamedKatie, Sarah, who apparently I know, but completely forgot, and this coolcat named Seth Hale went to Wally World to snack up on our vast supply of pregnancy tests...you know...just in case. Anyway, I got:

Cream soda, Capri Suns, Tea, Pop Tarts, some Lil Debbie snackcakes, and other assorted goodness.

Katie Pluhoski, on the other hand got: Liqour. Lots and lots of liqour.

Speaking of, on the way out, there's this crotchety looking woman with a table outside of Wal-Mart. She asks me and Katie if we would sign a petition to bring liqour into her dry county. We were like...ummm, we don't drink. And the lady was all, "Well, it benefits everyone." We sort of backed away and went to the car.

I'm like, Miss, (I thought this) if you really want to get your drink on, you need to drive the five minutes over to Waco (apparently you don't have a job, because you have time to be gapin and loungin around Wal-Mart all day) and buy your beer. She drove over here to set up her petition, she should just stock up. I mean, thats what Katie does. Anyway, as we were walking away, she asked a woman with 4 kids to sign it. The woman looked at her like she was crazy and walked off. Good for her.

As we drove off, I managed to get a candid picture of her, sneakily through the car window. Mu haha.

You can see chronicles of my life on The Facebook, which is really cool. Go to this link and you can see my photo albums without being a memeber of Facebook. Go on, you know you want to.

So the best thing about the competition between XuQa (another Facebook type thing) and The Facebook, is that their competition leads to better things for the consumer. Economics 101. For all those who are painfully uncool and gauche, XuQa is this new Facebook alternative. My friends and I have deemed it "dirty Facebook" because basically, you have an account (like facebook), but you can buy and sell things (online fake things - like roses, a stereo) to show someone you like them. But where they are dirty is that they have Anonymous blogs.

Well, we soon find out what happens once you give college students anonyminity (as if I even just spelled that word right). You get HUNDREDS of anon blogs that are "I hate Niggers", "[Screw]* Me!" "Girth vs Length" and "Black People Suck. Lets Kill Them!". I kid you not. Straight from the blog roll. Ugh. And then there are this section for you to post "Party Pics". Basically, an outlet for dirty people to post pics featuring them getting drunk, shower parties, girls making out with girls and basically X-Rated photos. The Facebook responded to this by adding a Photo feature to their site, which I must say is pretty badace. (by the way, the "male female" symbol to the right is one of XuQa's logos, in case you were wondering what on Earth ever possesed me to randomly put that up,)

The oddest thing is that at the page opener, it says:

XuQa, pronounced as "Zoo-kah" is the most expansive college social network in the United States with more than 6000 universities, community colleges and technical schools. You can find friends, upload 5.0 GB of photos, explore potential hookups, and rant on thousands of college blogs.

How is this even possible? On Facebook, I have 500+ friends, 300 of which go to my university. On XuQa I have about 8. Thats because like no one in the world knows what it is. That means that they are lying. LYING. My devotion stays with the book of faces because its not dirty, raunchy, and, er, lie-y like XuQa. WHO CAME UP WITH THE NAME XUQA ANYWAY!?!?! Thats just weird.

eta: We are seeing 4 Brothers! It should be off the heeezy...as long as I don't get shot. Def should try not to get shot.
Oh yeah! There was also some random controversy about whether or not you have to have a blogspot acount to comment. You don't! So leave as many as you want! It takes about 13 seconds!

Me and...KABBALAH!!!!!!

2005-10-21T21:53:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to:
Whatever it Takes (DeGrassi Theme Song)

So, after writing the post directly before this one, I did a lil' research on Kabbalah -ism. Pretty crazy ish.

The Red String protects us from the influences of the Evil Eye. Evil Eye is a very powerful negative force. It refers to the unfriendly stare and unkind glances we sometimes get from people around us. According to Kabbalah, the critical need to confront the problem of negative influences cannot be underestimated. Kabbalah teaches us that we can remove intrusive negative influences by using tools such as the Red String!

So I'm assuming that there are people who walk around us, strangers, I suppose, and think bad thoughts about us for no good reason. Wow, that sucks. And these bad thoughts are reflected or something when we wear red strings around our wrists. So like, what would be cool is if the string intercepted all the Evil Eye energy and stored it, so that you could use it to shoot out powerful lightning beams from your wrists at your enemies. Its like:

Oh no! That Quizno's sub worker just thought a really bad thought about me!

I summon upon the powers of the Kabbalah red string!!!!

Red String - Activate!

*sfx: metal clanking, the roar of a tiger, and numerous clicks*

Kabbalah Red String: Take that! And that! And some of this! How about a side of this!

The red string shoots out a burning energy onto the one that has done me wrong and fries them like an onion ring, but with a less pleasent odor (as is showed by the smoke).

Mu ha ha.

So, you too can get your own Kabbalah bracelet for only $26! It comes with a book explaining the rules of Kabbalah-ism, and assorted chants. What I really wanna know is, who has the nerve to ask 26 dollars for a piece o string? Come on now. That string probably cost 6 cents, and when you buy your Kabbalah string, somebody is walking around with $25. 94 in their pocket.

Now before anyone gets mad because Im sort of making fun of Kabbalahism, (because some random girl got mad that I reffered to someone as Hispanic - I'm still strugglin wit that one) I really have no idea what it is. If you wanna let me know exactly what Kabbalahism entails, leave me a comment.

Me and Tha 'Roe

2005-10-21T19:03:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to:
Calling my Name
by Hezekiah Walker

I am home! w00t! Get busy!

We left yesterday at aboot :30 and got here by 6. This weekend has been awesome thus far, because all I do is sleep. Unfortunately, it is as boring as sin, so I have no idea what I'm gonna do with myself. I mean, Waco is boring, but Conroe when you're the only person on break? Completely and utterly boring.

Good news! Got my camera back..you know, the camera I left in the yearbook room, say a million years ago? I have found it, and am taking pictures of everything that I can, get ready for random pictures through out this post, cuz you're gonna get em.

Me winking sexily.

And so, I get home and my dads all, "Hey son, guess what. I got a new car, I'm bringing it home right now." He has a FLY new car. I don't even know what it is, it is just an old school pimpmobile. Man, I hope that when I have my mid-life crisis that I am rich so I can by freakishly nice things like my pa. (just kidding about that mid-life crisis thing - i just want a new car)

What else...went by the Yearbook room, they are working hard...hehehehe. While I am on the subject of high schoolers, the stankness of these young females. It seems as though Oak Ridge's atheletes have had their myspace privaleges revoked, because my good friend Principal Tommy Johnson (or TJ - we are tight like that) got a myspace account and saw that some of the student atheletes had pictures of themselves in thongs, just all naked and stank online, so the coaches are told now to tell the atgheletes not to use myspace - they can get kicked
off the team for it.

Its about time. The stankness of some of these young females is unsettling. Some of them (and yes I am looking at some of yall in Academy of SciTech) openly discuss their promiscuousocity on their blogs. With no shame. And no tact. Hmmph. I tell you da troof...

Moving along -

Oops. This is a pic of me sleeping in the PT while waiting for my mom to emerge from the school. And looking sexy while doing it, might I add.

Heyhey, some controversy thats somewhat old, but hey, its probably new to you, is that in the movie Guess Who featuring that oddman Ashton Kutcher and my distant relative Bernie Mac, they spent $100,000 to digitally erase the red Kabalah string from his arm. 100K. That is so much money. The story has it that they filmed all the film with the string, and then showed it to a test audience, and they were like 'SATAN WORSHIPING. SATAN WORSHIPING!" so they spent One Hundred Thousand dollars to digitally erase it.

Dagum. Thats a lot of money. But why didn't they just tell him to take of the stupid little string at the begining of filming?? I can't imagine them going throughout the whole thing and then they get to the editing room and say, "Whats that on his hand?! J-Jim, did you authorize that? Cause I sure didn't." I guess thats what happens when you worship A PAGAN GOD, SINNERS! STOP SINNING, YOU SINNING SINNERS!!!
OK, just kidding, I actually have no idea what Kabalah stands for or what your supposed to do with it. It does sound like a nice soup though. Like it would have cabbage in it.

Wow, this is really funny, go here, read, and have a good night.

"See, that right there is a bold-faced lie. Paris Hilton is a constant threat to everyone's welfare, minors included. After all, the girl's like the Pepé Le Pew of venereal diseases. She walks down the streets, and suddenly all the flowers have wilted and all the children she's passed begin to feel a burning sensation when they pee. Though, to her credit, the whole incident may just have been one of those classic Pepé Le Pew misunderstandings. She probably just mistook the kids for Lindsay Lohan after they unknowingly sat on a bench freshly painted with [hooker]."

http://www.thesuperficial.com

Me and Oh! Sista Sista!

2005-10-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

Found this on someone's Facebook....so true.

***Be BLACK and PROUD!!***

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more) !!!
Dear Jamie:
I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.
I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about our relationship.
My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.
Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes.
I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes...
I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.
Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in VA
RESPONSE

Dear Jamie:
I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.
I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy.
The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control.
I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women.
Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few.
I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history!
It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.
It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise!
It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could> never> date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.
Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain, and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women.
I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous?
I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.
BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.
Someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.
Signed, Black Royalty

Hahahaha, that is rather humorous to me.

On my way home!

Me and Random Cheerleaders, Cheerleaders Everywhere!

2005-10-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to
What's Your Fantasy (Remix)
by: Ludacris, feat. Shawna, Trina, and Foxy Brown

I seem to always get caught up in the weirdest things...ok, they may not seem weird to you, but to me, they are somewhat odd. Last week or so Mfrie, Bee and I were in Wal-Mart, buying random things, and there was a girl kneeling down next to a case of Axe in her cheerleading outfit. And she was all "Hi! I'm an...AXE ANGEL!!!!!!" Where there is usually like the High School name was AXE. And she asked me, "Do you use AXE brand products?!?!" And I said.."Well....yes. Yes I do." And she replied, "Well, have you tried the new shower line? Get a whiff of this!" And she opene a bottle of the shower gel and held it under her noise and sort of moaned, "Mmmmmm," and then said, "Smell!" I did smell pretty good. Not really, "Mmmmmmmmm" good, but suitable.

Then last night I was meeting Bee out in front of Waco Hall to walk over to Sofie's, and while I was waiting, about 8 girls in Cow costumes come running out of Chapel. I'm not even kidding. Cow Outfits. Then they proceeded to stunt one of the girls, cheerleader style, into the air and then run back inside. Really.

Meh.

So my last thought for the day may be disturbing to some readers. So I'll wait a minute while you tuck your children away and cover your eyes.

.......

.......

K, you ready?

Alright. This is to the guy on Martin 4 North who insists on using the bathroom #2 (like really, really bad number 2) in stall number 1 (the good stall) and not flushing it. The next time you are very rude and don't flush, you might not want to leave your wallet on the floor in front of the toilet, for now we know your identity and we know that yo booty is nasty.

Me and the Lion of JUDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

2005-10-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to:
Lion of Judah
by Dennis Lamar

So, to everyone that has ever left a comment....THANK YOU SO MUCH! And I'm sorry that I've never responded, I just had no idea they were there..in my old system I was notified by email whenever someone left a message, but I just re-did a coupla thingies, and I had no idea you people cared aboot my life! Makes me feel ooey gooey inside...like S'Mores...

Ugh. So this morning, I was all set on having a S'Mores Pop Tart. I leave them in my freezer so they get all chewy and whatnot, and taste just delish. Yeah I just said delish, wanna make sumpthin of it? So I go to the fridge and there are NO POP TARTS IN THERE. I wanted it so bad...I needed it, and they were all gone.

So the gentleman that I am currently listening to is Dennis Lamar (or Dennis McDaniel...his CD single says Lamar, his album says McDaniel). He sang at Chapel today and one other time. He is an excellent singer, and I've waled around campus all day randomly singing, "I am THE LION OF JUDAHHHHHHHHH." His music isn't exactly Christian or Gospel, but is more Inspirational. Cop his CD, I would, but I am poor.

So I had my math test today...yeah, I studied and prayed for weeks about this test but I'm still not sure if I did well, but neither is the rest of the class, which softens the blow a little bit.

Me and Crystal were def late to church on Sunday..we thought it started at 11:00, like every other black church in the entire universe, but it didn't, it started at 10:00. It was so funny, Crystal's son, Gabe was in the backseat of the car, and I was like, "Crystal..where is Gabe's other shoe?" and she was all "Yeah, since we were running so late, I couldn't find his other shoe, and I was hoping it was in the car but - its not. If anybody asks Ima be all, 'REALLY? It must've fell off in the car or something." So we get in church, and of course, the woman next to her starts playing with the baby, and eventually she was all, "Where is his other shoe at?" and Crystal was like, "Ummmmmm...it musta fell off" and the lady started lookin all up and down the pews for it, and Crystal was like, "Um....it must be in my bag...heh heh.." Now thats funny stuff.

The oddest thing ever is when you've been seeing someone's Facebook picture for the longest time, and they are frozen in that moment. Everything you know about that person is in that photograph. If they are pretty, if they are dressed nice, if they are making funny faces, it makes you think that is what that person looks like. When you stumble upon them in real life, its a bit unsettling, because this picture that you've been looking at is now wearing a different outfit and moving and whatnot. Isn't that the weirdest feeling? Its like, this is the Facebook pic -

but this is actually what you get -

Oh Whitney...what went wrong? You used to be my homegirl....Oh well,

I am the Lion of Judah
I'll be your strength when you are weak
I'll conquer every fear
And restore the stolen years
I am all that you will ever need
I am the Lion of Judaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

so lets take a poll. Is Whitney

A) Wiping the crack smoke out of her eyes
B) Crying
C) Just comin from diggin all in her nose
or
D)Putting in a Contact

Leave Comments!

Me and My Extreme Dislike of Corn and Corn Related Products...Corn on the Cob, Creamed Corn, Corn Bread, Poppin Corn, Kettle Corn, Cornish Hen....

2005-10-15T20:08:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to:
Till We Meet Again
by New Direction

So we totally just lost to the Nebraska Cornsuckers. That Whomps.

So I finally realized why people who get on tv act so crazy. This woman from Channel 2 comes up to us and is all "Do any of you want to give me an ainterview?" and while the guy was talking to her, we were all in the back hollerin, "We GOIN TO THA BOWL! YEAH! WE GON BE ALL UP IN THAT PIECE, FA'SHO!!!!" Just all ghetto and ignant on tv. But thats ok.

The justification of our loss was, "Hey...we may have lost...but you still live in Nebraska. NEBRASKA!" When the line was getting ready to run out, this middle aged man was like yelling at us, and I was like, "Man...you're like 48, stop pickin on us 18 year olds." Good Times.

Last night Bobby, Adam and I watched Saw. It was mad crazy yo!

*Sigh* I never have anything to do on the weekends. I could study a lot, but thats no fun. I don't really like parties, and have no interest in being around alcohol and the evils of the world, lol.

What happened to the group of people I used to hang out with? I have no idea. Fortunately, I'm the kinda guy who has more than just one core group of friend, and so I have a lot to fall back on.

I miss my friends from back home. Even though there are lots and lotsa cool people here, nothin can compare to people you've grown up with. Oh well, theres always the ten year reunion.

Here's a pic of me and Christy Looove at UpRoar. Arent we hot! I have this horrible tendency to squint my eyes in pictures, so I look like I'm sleeping. I need to work on that. Soon I'll put up my pic of me and Bruiser from the game. We look so cool.

Me and A Bad Transaction

2005-10-14T15:13:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to:
Friend of God
by Israel Houghton and New Breed

So I am offically poor. OK, not really poor, because I have so much more than others around me, but I went to withdraw $50 from my bank account and it said that my request exceeded my general funds. I was like, "WHAT!", but then I remembered all of my extravagant purchases...THe Desperate Housewives DVD....$42.00.....Candles for my mother from FTD.com.....$46.00 + S&H....A beverage from the SUB everyday before English class...$1.39. So I have to get to Robinson Tower and claim my $500 scholarship, and hope that they put it into my Student Account instead of paying for some other random fees. I know, I know, but its just so hard to get there without a car...the last time I went, it took me 2 hours, what with the trolly changes and whatnot. Oh well, I am Too Blessed To Be Stressed.

So the ironies in my life have finally balanced themselves out.

Irony Beaten # 1 - I skipped Theatre...AND WE DIDN"T HAVE A QUIZ!!!!! I ROCK!

Anyway, my roomates are once again out of town for some crazy reason (I think Homecoming) and I am alone. The game is tommorow! W00t everyone should come! Its going to be stupid fly fresh cool on tha serious tip!

Me and My Lack of Working Out

2005-10-13T20:03:00.000-07:00

Currently listening to:
Cater 2 U
by Destiny's Child

So I am such a fat, horrible person. I'm on my THIRD A&W Cream Soda of the day, and I took a nap and overslept so I didn't get a chance to workout. Though it all worked out because I swear I broke my ankle on the treadmill. It hurts. On Tuesday when I was working out, I spent about 30 minutes lifting, and then decided to treadmill. But not downstairs around everyone else, because you know how it is.

You walk over to the one open treadmill and you start doing your usual 2.5 miles an hour. But then you look around and you see everyone else doing like 10 and not even sweating. So you try to keep up the pace, and it works for about 13 seconds, and then you die, because it is too fast. So I went upstairs so I could be fat and slow in peace, and so I'm up there really gettin it, just doin 3.3 miles, and since I don't have cute little earpod headphones, I can't listen to music, so I just close my eyes and hum to myself. Well, while my eyes were closed I must have slid to the very end of the tradmill, because I fell off it. It hurt bad.

So last night me and Bee went over to Mfrie's and Sofie's and watched Desperate Housewives Disc 3. Yeah, you know it was crunkeded up because we are just cool like that. At 12:30 thought, I was like, "ya'll, I have to go... I am so tired." And I was. But when I left, I started calling random people, as I am wont to do, because if I am attacked I can scream my location and the description of my attacker to the person on the other end of the line.

I called Katie Plu and she was like, "Me and my people's is at IHOP, you need to get there." OK, she didn't say me and my people's, but you get the idea. So I found myself completley un-sleepy for some reason and got my fine self to IHOP, where I met up with Katie, my homeboy Ben Carrol, and met this cool dude named Wade, and this cool chick who's name I knew I would never remember so I christened her "Christy Love". The cool thing about Baylor is you meet new people all the time, and most of them are really cool. Excluding the crazy ones. Because there are def crazy ones, just ask me about it, I have a few stalkers already.

While we are on the topic of desperate woman, what was Nicholette Sheridan thinking in this picture? I know its old, but...ew. She looks like someone dared her, "Hey, I bet you couldn't possibly look uglier than you usually do on the show" and she grabbed some old 1931 post-depression drapes and cut them up, and scantily wrapped them around her body and said, "Ha. take that." Eva Longoria's dress is also slightly questionable, but she is beautiful so she gets despensations from things like that.

(untitled)

2005-10-12T10:40:00.000-07:00

there are about 100 milliseconds between when the Glass falls and when it breaks.

100 milliseconds to think about what went wrong.

Good times.
laughter. the smile on a face.

Bad times.
pain. misplaced anger.

"Turn that frown upside down!"

100 milliseconds is too much. it gives too much time to think about what went wrong.

how to fix it.

the Glass is falling.

how to fix this Glass. this wonderful, perfect Glass.

what could I have done to keep the cracks from forming around the rim?

I tried so many different ways.

yelling. shouting. screaming.

shaming it until it refrained.

"Turn that frown upside down!"

still falling.

in 100 milliseconds, everything that this Glass represents will soon be broken.

shatters and shards of love lost and life lived.

no matter how hard I try, the Glass is still plummeting towards the floor, with the power of everything good and perfect pushing it.

with everything within me, I try.

I try so hard.

maybe there is still life in this Glass, maybe I can save it.

the Glass breaks.

-DeAndre' Upshaw October 11, 2005