Unfresh.: Next time I will slam it in your face.

Unfresh.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Next time I will slam it in your face.

If you are a man, you are probably aware of the many things that we are forced to do that women expect we should. Even though most of this post is in jest, I am still kind of upset about a few things. Like today, for instance, or any other day of my life on a college campus that is 63% women.

The exit to Penland Dining Hall that faces the parking lot and Russel has like 18 doors. OK, its more like 2. However, this can be a problem, because there are always girls walking behind me and I pause to hold the door open for them.

Without fail, I can say that I hold open doors for people behind me, but for ladies in general. I don't mind most of the time, but there are some times when women and door-holding-open just burns me up.

A. When they are a few paces behind yours and they take like a year to catch up with you. That sucks, because a lot of the time I'm in a hurry and need to get to class, but I am holding the door open for YOU. I don't expect a lot, but I need you to put some pep in your step, ma.

B. When you swish right past me without nary a thanks or sideways glance. Truthfully, I don't hold open doors because I want people to say thanks. But you know, it would be nice. And the next time you get with some of your girls to talk about how much men suck and are dogs, you can say, "Wait! I know guys who hold doors open for me all the time. But I never say thanks. Does that make me a "B"? The answer is yes. Yes it does.

C. I don't think I have ever had a woman hold a door open for me. Ever. A lot of times it just slams in my face. Seriously. Women, you need to re-evaluate! This whole business upsets me. It is horrible to just bang a door in someones face, as so many females feel the need to. Hmmph.

While we are on female inconsideration, lets talk about this whole leave the toilet seat down thing. It stands to reason that (1) you don't want pee all over the seat, so why not say, "Thanks for leavin' the seat up! I really appreciate that you didn't want to splatter urine all over my floral wallpaper! Believe it or not, sometimes it is hard to aim.

And (2), wouldn't it be just as easy for you to put the seat up? You're asking me to put it down, why not put it up? Yeah, it makes sense know that you think about it, huh.

This site details ways in which you can make your man put the seat down. Unsurprisingly, here is step seven:

Be relentless in your efforts - training can take time. Don't be afraid to try whatever you think might work: pouting, anger, threats, badgering or even silence. Avoid taking your mind off the goal.

My favorite response is this one:

Just relax!!! - I agree with Jared here. Don't get all emotional over something as menial as a toilet seat. You give your husbands enough problems as it is; at least give them a break on this one.

And this one:

Compromise - When my husband and I were newly married, we compromised. If he would lift the seat to do his thing, I would lower it to do mine. It's one less thing to fight about.

Makes sense to me.

Labels: baylor, issues of gender, rant, unfresh

posted by DeAndre' @ 4:46 PM

0 Put ya thang down flip it and reverse it: