Unfresh.: Me and A Beeramid

Unfresh.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Me and A Beeramid

Have you ever known someone's Facebook profile to be of them and an alcoholic beverage? Do they think they are cool by showing that they are underage drinkers?

Does this get them into all the cool parties? Does it make them feel good on Sunday morning when they're at church to have their Sunday School teacher know about it because she, like everyone else in the world has a Facebook profile?

Scuhhhh.

There's this girl, who on her Xanga profile (this made me laugh really hard) has where it says DO you smoke/drink? And she had No/No. I knew this was the biggest lie in the wor

ld, and I felt like alerting the media becasue thats the type of horrible person I am, mu ha ha. No really, I have PICTURES of this girl (we sort of fell out becaus she was Satan, but that's another story) getting completely trashed at this after prom party (she drank like every weekend, so prom wasn't just a one time thing) and shes just drinking, and her abusive boyfriend has a beeramid working that just gets bigger in succesive shots. Now for those who don't know what a beeramid is, its basically a pyramid of beer cans that you've drunk. This is something I've learned from my wild friends.

The thing about this girl is that she was the type of person to give Christians a bad name. Like, there was all this drama concerning her and some other people, and she was like, "I would never talk about ya'll...I'm a CHRISTIAN!" yeah right. And Whitney's not in rehab, she's just taking a "vacay."

Now because I had a lot of fun blurring out the faces in that picture, here are a couple that I think you will enjoy. I was on the red carpet and managed to snag these! Unfortunately, they were innaproprate for several reasons:

First up: The Duff imps. As pretty and sophisticated they seem, I just couldn't in good consience allow that large hook nose of Haylie's to be in the picture. Think of the uproar! Mothers would have to hide their children. Little boys would run to their mothe's skirts and weep mercifully. And Hillary's buck teeth were just to painful to look at.

Now, Paris Hilton. Really, if anyone can give me a reason why she should ven appear in public, leave me a message, becasuse why she's still alive is beyond me.

Its obvious that J-Lo needs some censors to cover up her massive derriere. Plus, her you-know-whats (we like to call them "dirty pillows" in a weird English accent after seeing Carrie) are almost visible. I don't feel the need to explain censoring her neck. I just felt like it.

Now, last Martha. Do we really need her near crafts of any sort? Shouldn't that have been her long time punishment or something? I can see it now. Judge: Martha...you have no more jail time...but if we catch you anywhere near any crafts, we will eff your skinny little behind up. Got that?" and then we would have to suffer through being around her anymore and that would be nice.

posted by DeAndre' @ 1:52 PM

0 Put ya thang down flip it and reverse it: