Saturday, December 10, 2005
Why Are You Still Here?
K, so if E! has taught us anything about entertainment, is that people will read/watch anything as long as it is preceded with "101" and ended with "Oops!." Case in point: 101 Most Shocking Moments in Entertainment, 101 Biggest Celebrity Oops, 101 Most Starlicious Makeovers, and 101 Juiciest Hollywood Hookups. So, following in that vein, I present to you....

101 People who Shouldn't Be Celebrities

And seeing as how I do have a life and whatnot, its going to be no where near 101. You'll be lucky if its even 10. Mu ha ha.

First up,

Ashlee Simpson

Why is she even famous? Can she sing? No. She cannot. And what color is her hair really? Why should we care about her and her lack of talent? I wish that I had my own reality tv show. As a matter of fact, I now demand my own reality television program. She had one, and she's about as important as Bobby Brown performing at concert on 2005. No one cares. She can't even walk out of her house without mortally wounding small children. I know, I know, you never read about her hurting those kids in the newspapers. But thats apart of her master plan, you see. Oh yes.

Trishelle from The Real World

GET. OFF. MY. TV. SCREEN. NOW. No one likes you, you are like a bad odor in a couch at someone's home, and every time you go over to their house and they say "hey guys, sit down" you dread sitting down because the couch smells like feet. That's you, Trishelle. You are the foot odor on the couch of my life. You have no real talent outside of drinking and being a hook. You aren't even pretty. You look sort of like a Martian who tried to be funny and shape shift himself into the ugliest human possible. You are the result of someone's April Fool's joke.

Paris Hilton

What does she do? What is her whole purpose in life, save to "look hot" (which she failes miserably at) and to be half-naked? Let's not forget her saying the "n" word and getting caught on tape saying it, and then after saying, "Everyone who knows me, knows that I am totally not racists. That's just not hot.", like 30 of her friends were like, "Um...shes lying."All I know is, if Trishelle is the odor in the couch that I was discussing earlier, then Paris Hilton is the herpes. She looks like a walking STD, and to quote another blog I read, The Superficial,

After all, the girl's like the Pepé Le Pew of venereal diseases. She walks down the streets, and suddenly all the flowers have wilted and all the children she's passed begin to feel a burning sensation when they pee. Though, to her credit, the whole incident may just have been one of those classic Pepé Le Pew misunderstandings. She probably just mistook the kids for Lindsay Lohan after they unknowingly sat on a bench freshly painted with {hooker}

More later, when I feel like it.
posted by DeAndre' @ 5:14 PM  
0 Put ya thang down flip it and reverse it:
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Name: DeAndre'
Home: Waco, Texas, United States
Who Am I?: This one time I decided that everything in my life would be in musical form. ANd everyone would automatically know the words and the choreography and sing on key. You see how well that turned out.
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