Saturday, December 08, 2007
What Would You Do?

What would you do if you were in a parking lot and got hit in the head by a sausage?

One of my friends was hit in the head by a kamikaze sausage at Richland Mall the other day.

What would you do? I think I would throw it like a boomerang and knock out all of my assailants one by one. Or eat it, if it was delicious.

What would you do?


posted by DeAndre' @ 10:25 PM   0 comments

You betta go, girl!

A couple of weeks ago I brought my white, messianic Jewish friend Camren along with me and some others to see Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married" (awesome, by the way). During the movie, I became increasingly aware of some of the differences in watching a movie with predominately white audiences and black audiences.

During the movie, there were hoots and hollers all the way through out. During one particularly pivotal scene (I won't ruin it, but "I got it from WALTER!") when there is a lot of exposition, about half of the people in the audience stood up and hollered. There was applause, fingers waving in the air, and "tell it like it t-i-s!"'s abounding.

There was plenty of spicy yelling during the movie, which really warranted it. Which makes me think about the differences in surrounding when black people move in between a black and white world. It always struck me as funny when I get in a group of friends that are all black, and the way we refer to white people; we are never "honky" this, and "cracker" that, but there are just little things that we know that the outside world doesn't. It's like being in an exclusive club.

When I'm in predominately white crowds in the movie theatre I usually restrain myself from yelling at the screen. People who watch movies with me know this, as I feel that watching a movie is a community experience. Its always more fun when you are watching Halloween and homegirl falls to the ground and you scream "Will you pick your dumb behind up!?!?! So stupid, she just had to fall right there. Wrong, honey, just wrong."

Awesome page where I got the scrap of paper in the upper corner.

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posted by DeAndre' @ 10:14 PM   0 comments

Friday, December 07, 2007
Next time I will slam it in your face.
If you are a man, you are probably aware of the many things that we are forced to do that women expect we should. Even though most of this post is in jest, I am still kind of upset about a few things. Like today, for instance, or any other day of my life on a college campus that is 63% women.

The exit to Penland Dining Hall that faces the parking lot and Russel has like 18 doors. OK, its more like 2. However, this can be a problem, because there are always girls walking behind me and I pause to hold the door open for them.

Without fail, I can say that I hold open doors for people behind me, but for ladies in general. I don't mind most of the time, but there are some times when women and door-holding-open just burns me up.

A. When they are a few paces behind yours and they take like a year to catch up with you. That sucks, because a lot of the time I'm in a hurry and need to get to class, but I am holding the door open for YOU. I don't expect a lot, but I need you to put some pep in your step, ma.

B. When you swish right past me without nary a thanks or sideways glance. Truthfully, I don't hold open doors because I want people to say thanks. But you know, it would be nice. And the next time you get with some of your girls to talk about how much men suck and are dogs, you can say, "Wait! I know guys who hold doors open for me all the time. But I never say thanks. Does that make me a "B"? The answer is yes. Yes it does.

C. I don't think I have ever had a woman hold a door open for me. Ever. A lot of times it just slams in my face. Seriously. Women, you need to re-evaluate! This whole business upsets me. It is horrible to just bang a door in someones face, as so many females feel the need to. Hmmph.

While we are on female inconsideration, lets talk about this whole leave the toilet seat down thing. It stands to reason that (1) you don't want pee all over the seat, so why not say, "Thanks for leavin' the seat up! I really appreciate that you didn't want to splatter urine all over my floral wallpaper! Believe it or not, sometimes it is hard to aim.

And (2), wouldn't it be just as easy for you to put the seat up? You're asking me to put it down, why not put it up? Yeah, it makes sense know that you think about it, huh.

This site details ways in which you can make your man put the seat down. Unsurprisingly, here is step seven:

Be relentless in your efforts - training can take time. Don't be afraid to try whatever you think might work: pouting, anger, threats, badgering or even silence. Avoid taking your mind off the goal.

My favorite response is this one:

Just relax!!! - I agree with Jared here. Don't get all emotional over something as menial as a toilet seat. You give your husbands enough problems as it is; at least give them a break on this one.

And this one:

Compromise - When my husband and I were newly married, we compromised. If he would lift the seat to do his thing, I would lower it to do mine. It's one less thing to fight about.

Makes sense to me.

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posted by DeAndre' @ 4:46 PM   0 comments

Sunday, December 02, 2007
Ways not to convince people that you are not racist.
Invariably during your life as a person of non-color, someone will either call you a racist or imply that you have racists and/or prejudices. The thing to do is to acknowledge that you, like everyone else have prejudices, and that sometime these prejudices manifest themselves in the way you talk, or your "jokes" that you think are very funny, but are harmful to others. Here are some ways not to look like a jack - a in these situations.

1. No one cares that you went to a school full of 85% black, Mexican or Asian people.

Just because you went to school with a lot of people of color doesn't mean that you may make jokes or comments at the expense of that group, and then follow it up with, "But I went to a school that was 90% black, so... I was the minority!" Newsflash: as a white person, you are not, and have never been "the minority." While there may have been more of them than you, you still have an advantage in that all of your life, you have had white privilege. Don't know what that is? Read "White Privilege" by Peggy McIntosh ( a white woman ).

I decided to try to work on myself at least by identifying some of the daily effects of white privilege in my life. I have chosen those conditions that I think in my case attach somewhat more to skin-color privilege than to class, religion, ethnic status, or geographic location, though of course all these other factors are intricately intertwined. As far as I can tell, my African American coworkers, friends, and acquaintances with whom I come into daily or frequent contact in this particular time, place and time of work cannot count on most of these conditions.

1. I can if I wish arrange to be in the company of people of my race most of the time.

2. I can avoid spending time with people whom I was trained to mistrust and who have learned to mistrust my kind or me.

3. If I should need to move, I can be pretty sure of renting or purchasing housing in an area which I can afford and in which I would want to live.

4. I can be pretty sure that my neighbors in such a location will be neutral or pleasant to me.

5. I can go shopping alone most of the time, pretty well assured that I will not be followed or harassed.

6. I can turn on the television or open to the front page of the paper and see people of my race widely represented.

Follow the link for more.

2. There's no way I can be racist! My best friend/person I know/guy who mows my lawn is black!

There is nothing worse than someone who tries to justify something by using a person who they obviously only see as a token to prove a point, while simultaneously showing the world that that their friend is just that to them, their black/Hispanic/Asian friend.

3. Why do you guys have to be so racial? Why does everything have to be about race? IT WAS JUST A JOKE!

As a person of color, everyday of my life I've been reminded of the fact that I am that. Therefore, it is difficult to separate the identity of race when it comes to my identity as a person. This doesn't mean that my life is defined only by my race, but that I don't have the opportunity to separate the two.

Picture this, as a black man, everywhere I go, I am consistently reminded that I am that. When I walk into class, or just around campus, all I see are white faces. Yet, whenever a group of Asian, black or Hispanic students are sitting together at lunch, or hanging out in the SUB, why is it that all I hear is "What are all those black people doing sitting together? Why is it that all the Asians hang out together?"

White people sit together exclusively all the time, yet no one says anything about it. The next time you have to qualify or justify a statement that you've made, try to look at it through the eyes of someone who lives as a person of color in a tumultuous racial climate such as America. It's never funny when the joke is on you. Also, just because it is a "joke" doesn't mean that it isn't hurtful.

Now that's unfresh.

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posted by DeAndre' @ 3:30 PM   0 comments

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Name: DeAndre'
Home: Waco, Texas, United States
Who Am I?: This one time I decided that everything in my life would be in musical form. ANd everyone would automatically know the words and the choreography and sing on key. You see how well that turned out.
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